Rant

Z4M-2006 said:
Stuart Truman said:
Today's update. After "turning it off and on again" by removing the battery overnight, BMW has come to the conclusion that whatever blew the original DME blew the replacement up so.... they're fitting another DME. I asked if they knew what blew them and they "think" it's their coding system so the plan is to fit this one to the car, then have BMW code it remotely.

Fans of this page will note that they've done this once already (although after the dealer had tried so I guess it will eliminate their coding system breaking it)

If not? Well the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result...

Oh, and the DME second replacement will probably take 2-3 days to come in. And they're a £1000 part so the bill for this little fault is going to be epic. Not that I'm paying.
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Loading software into a DME will not blow it up...... You just load a file into the DME memory,its like loading facebook on your phone...lol..


The software could be corrupt,so can brick the DME..... But the software that will be remotely loaded will only be the same software (it has to be)..

I realise this doesnt help Stuart... but i find it amazing what they are telling you..
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What a great fella to have on the forum Gary, you're knowledge on this matter I'm sure will help Stuart immensely, I wouldn't have a clue tbh and would take everything they told me as Red :thumbsup:
 
Thanks Darren..

I have been doing this kinda stuff for years and i find what main dealers tell their customer laughable in some instances..

I recently had a warranty battle with BMW about a viscous fan coupling on an E39..

They can go faulty and lock up,and at speed can shred the fan assembly.. This is what happened so went to BMW dealership for parts warranty.
They tried to refuse the parts warranty (normal practice), so upon asking why the BMW supplied fan had shed its blades,they suggested a bird may have nested in the fan cowling,obstructing and damaging the fan blades upon start of the engine.... No feather or debris in the cowling i might add..

When i asked them to put that version of events into writing as an explanation of the problem,they refused..

We went back and forth..... They accused me of dropping tools into the engine bay with the car running,i accused them of smoking crack..

I escalated the claim to BMW GB and the dealership repaired the vehicle within days....
 
Z4M-2006 said:
Thanks Darren..

I have been doing this kinda stuff for years and i find what main dealers tell their customer laughable in some instances..

I recently had a warranty battle with BMW about a viscous fan coupling on an E39..

They can go faulty and lock up,and at speed can shred the fan assembly.. This is what happened so went to BMW dealership for parts warranty.
They tried to refuse the parts warranty (normal practice), so upon asking why the BMW supplied fan had shed its blades,they suggested a bird may have nested in the fan cowling,obstructing and damaging the fan blades upon start of the engine.... No feather or debris in the cowling i might add..

When i asked them to put that version of events into writing as an explanation of the problem,they refused..

We went back and forth..... They accused me of dropping tools into the engine bay with the car running,i accused them of smoking crack..

I escalated the claim to BMW GB and the dealership repaired the vehicle within days....
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Good on Ya Gary, bet they $h*t themselves when they see you coming :lol: :thumbsup:
 
I still deal with them on a weekly basis and was only in there workshop 2 weeks ago..

The parts manager is a friend and a good guy.....but BMW have become a shocking company as regards customer care over the last few years..
 
All this is shocking and is a problem more and more as there arnt really mechanics anymore, just parts fitters.
The first thing they think of is for a diagnostics check and if that shows nothing they start scratching their heads.
Technology is not always good as people dont seem to be able to think and work things out for themselves anymore.
I wonder what would have happened to someone without a warranty?
Would they just have passed on all the costs to the customer for their mistakes and guesswork?
Hope they figure it out and you get it back sorted soon.
 
Z4M-2006 said:
Loading software into a DME will not blow it up...... You just load a file into the DME memory,its like loading facebook on your phone...lol..


The software could be corrupt,so can brick the DME..... But the software that will be remotely loaded will only be the same software (it has to be)..

I realise this doesnt help Stuart... but i find it amazing what they are telling you..
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I used to be an avionics engineer, so I've seen some weird stuff myself when updating boxes. It's the one reason I'm not yelling at the tech. The suspicion is that the software they loaded is corrupt, or there's something wrong with their update tool. Either is feasible.

To use your analogy, they haven't loaded the facebook app on an iphone, they've updated iOS.

Anyway, for the fans of this page...

Todays update. Clearly a shortage of Z4M DME's (probably because I've used them all) and they have to order one from the factory. It won't be in until the middle of next week.

In other news, they're giving me a new M3 to play with for a couple of days from Tuesday. Pics will be shared, fuel will be burned. I may have a Ferris Bueller moment or two... :evil:
 
When we flash DME software we do a full update.... We dont update the software on the back of old software.All info removed from EEPROM,and complete DME software renewal.....

Funnily enough i have been in the BMW dealership AGAIN today........ Another problem,another load of defensive codswallop..

Good luck with the car Stuart...

Hope the M3 does it for you..
 
Cheers. The likelihood of me buying one is low, I'm looking at a 911, but trying it for a couple of days unaccompanied will be fun.
 
My mates 997 is looking favourite (If mine comes back in time to prep and sell it). I've also looked at a low mileage OPC 997.2 but that's right on the limit of my budget. A 991 is out of my price range.

It's all a bit academic at the moment, as I've got most of my budget tied up in two cars. Like Carol I need to downsize from 2 to 1 car. Actually from 3 to 2 because as soon as I said "Porsche" my wife started making noises about changing hers. *sigh*
 
Nobody knows how to fix their own cars these days. I had a 3 yr old Citroen diesel C3, just out of warranty that I owned from new. It started to run rough, it spent over 3 months, yes 3 MONTHS at the Citroen dealership while they were trying to fix it. New ECU, new injectors, new this, new that. Nothing seemed to cure the problem. Citroen HQ didn't have the answer and then I got another call from the dealership saying 'would you like to choose another car?' 'Ummm...No!', 'So your'e telling me that Citroen has made a car that only lasts 3 years, then it has to be scrapped?'

Eventually I got the motoring press involved, GEM, they were great. Citroen covered all costs, courtesy car, parts labour etc, etc. despite being just out of warranty. Guess what the problem turned out to be? A vacuum pipe at the back of the engine FFS! We need mechanics not grease monkeys.
 
Z4M-2006 said:
When we flash DME software we do a full update.... We dont update the software on the back of old software.All info removed from EEPROM,and complete DME software renewal.....

Funnily enough i have been in the BMW dealership AGAIN today........ Another problem,another load of defensive codswallop..

Good luck with the car Stuart...

Hope the M3 does it for you..
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Is this standard procedure at BMW when updating the firmware or would they delete the old and start from scratch?
 
Ooosh.....

997.2 is a good car,prices are high at the moment..

If you mates car is good then i wouldnt hesitate to buy if the remedial engine work has been done.
 
AndyBeech said:
Z4M-2006 said:
When we flash DME software we do a full update.... We dont update the software on the back of old software.All info removed from EEPROM,and complete DME software renewal.....

Funnily enough i have been in the BMW dealership AGAIN today........ Another problem,another load of defensive codswallop..

Good luck with the car Stuart...

Hope the M3 does it for you..
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Is this standard procedure at BMW when updating the firmware or would they delete the old and start from scratch?
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I have never used the latest BMW tools,they are not available to us minions yet. But yes,thats the way that DME programming usually works..
 
Geezah said:
Nobody knows how to fix their own cars these days. I had a 3 yr old Citroen diesel C3, just out of warranty that I owned from new. It started to run rough, it spent over 3 months, yes 3 MONTHS at the Citroen dealership while they were trying to fix it. New ECU, new injectors, new this, new that. Nothing seemed to cure the problem. Citroen HQ didn't have the answer and then I got another call from the dealership saying 'would you like to choose another car?' 'Ummm...No!', 'So your'e telling me that Citroen has made a car that only lasts 3 years, then it has to be scrapped?'

Eventually I got the motoring press involved, GEM, they were great. Citroen covered all costs, courtesy car, parts labour etc, etc. despite being just out of warranty. Guess what the problem turned out to be? A vacuum pipe at the back of the engine FFS! We need mechanics not grease monkeys.
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Shitroen are one of the worst for that very issue..

They only support the parts network for 5 years...so if you have a ECU,ABS controller or BSI unut fail,and a second hand unit cannot be fitted due to security protocol then your car is essentially scrap after 5 years..

Just the way the motor industry wants it.... :thumbsdown:
 
Fair enough, had my done at BMW a while back, took long enough! I presume your referring to ISTA or is there a newer set of tools again?
 
Have you ever tried the new stuff with a Z4M? Seems INPA/DIS is the best we can get diagnosis wise, well as regular joe public anyway........
 
Z4M-2006 said:
Geezah said:
Nobody knows how to fix their own cars these days. I had a 3 yr old Citroen diesel C3, just out of warranty that I owned from new. It started to run rough, it spent over 3 months, yes 3 MONTHS at the Citroen dealership while they were trying to fix it. New ECU, new injectors, new this, new that. Nothing seemed to cure the problem. Citroen HQ didn't have the answer and then I got another call from the dealership saying 'would you like to choose another car?' 'Ummm...No!', 'So your'e telling me that Citroen has made a car that only lasts 3 years, then it has to be scrapped?'

Eventually I got the motoring press involved, GEM, they were great. Citroen covered all costs, courtesy car, parts labour etc, etc. despite being just out of warranty. Guess what the problem turned out to be? A vacuum pipe at the back of the engine FFS! We need mechanics not grease monkeys.
Click to expand...


Shitroen are one of the worst for that very issue..

They only support the parts network for 5 years...so if you have a ECU,ABS controller or BSI unut fail,and a second hand unit cannot be fitted due to security protocol then your car is essentially scrap after 5 years..

Just the way the motor industry wants it.... :thumbsdown:
Click to expand...

I thought that manufacturers were obliged to supply parts for cars until ten years after production stops, not five?
Regards
 
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