Well then, it's UPDATE time... So whilst ignoring my car's issues in the best way I know how, which is continuing to research the damn problem, I may have had a breakthrough!
Building on what I have thought for a while, that this is a timing related issue, I began looking for things that can affect timing. Now, our engines are obviously a little more complex than the average 4 banger, but hear me out. I was watching my fuel trims and timing graphs on my phone, which isn't super high fidelity, nor is it easy to do whilst driving, but I was seeing trims which I think are abnormal during different driving conditions. Flooring the throttle I was seeing negative spikes in short term trims and some weird timing type behaviour.
For a while I've had this strange problem where I press the throttle and hold it in a constant position (confirmed by OBD readout), the revs will rise and then start to fall. This made me think it could be a fueling issue again. Over the last few weeks, I've been noticing a hunting idle more and more, whereby the revs would settle to the normal mark and would pulse up and down by about 50-100 rpm. If I rev the car the revs will rise then drop, sometimes falling below the normal idle speed then coming back up.
So I'm thinking, what can affect fuel trims, hunting idle, timing and is something that is plausible... Here I am, back looking at the pre-cat oxygen sensors. My sensors are original, which means they are 14 years and 100k miles old. Being the 5 wire, wideband type, I can't see anything other than voltage in INPA, which as we know, looks normal. But the more I looked into this, the more I read how much failing ones can affect timing, hunting idle and the correct fueling, as you'd expect. I had doubts because the idle issues are pretty evident from cold start, but monitoring this shows that my car, with the current weather, enters closed loop after about 20 seconds. So I thought, why not just unplug the bast**ds so the car runs in open loop all the time.
What can I say, the car runs infinitely better. There is still the odd hicup randomly when I floor the accelerator at low revs, but I'm not sure if this is a byproduct of shot engine mounts (which are being changed next week), or it running in open loop. I suppose you could expect less than best running in open loop. But, the hesitation and surging around 1500-2000 rpm feels like it has improved by about 90-95%, to the point where if I ever feel anything, I really have to be waiting for it. For a car to run this well in open loop with no oxygen sensors tells me I need two new pre-cat sensors.
What are people's thoughts on this? Has anyone experienced something similar?