Hi Tallspeaker,
So there are dozens of steps depending on how thorough you want to be. Obviously once you've done a thorough detail there are a few steps you bypass.
So here are the steps and equipment/products.
Prewash - this is typically a snow foam. What this does is loosen the dirt and as the foam dwells it removes an amount of dirt. Depending on product the dwell times are usually up to 10minutes. Products I'd highly recommend are BD Clean Snow foam or Auto Finesse Avalanche. You can agitate with a soft detailing brush around badges, gaps and grilles. Pressure wash off, never leave to dry on the paintwork.
Depending on time of year so for example winter I would always a citrus prewash. You simply spray on (I concentrate on the lower half) leave to dwell then pressure wash off. Auto Finesse Citrus power
Now it comes to the actual cleaning.
I use 3 buckets with grit guards. Why 3? One for wheels. One for shampoo and one for rinsing. What you don't want to do is dunk your wash mitt into your shampoo mix which will contaminate your clean water with dirt which causes swirls/scratches. Grit guards do exactly that, these create a barrier between your mitt and grit as the grit falls to the bottom. I used Chemical Guys Mr Pink, BD clean Shampoo, chemical Guys V07.
I use two lambs wool mitts (one for the upper half and then one for lower), the plush pile traps any grit while passing on the paintwork thus helping your paintwork stay swirl free. Wheel wise i use wheel woollies, EZ brushes and detailing brushes for a deep clean. Large brushes such as these allow you to clean the barrel of your wheel rather than just washing the alloy rim. Product wise I personally like Chemical Guys Diablo wheel cleaner in a spray bottle and Auto Finesse Revolution in the bucket. Clean the wheels first before the paintwork.
Next up is the start of the decontamition process. When cleaning the car, clean in one direction. Do not do as the Polish do and wash in circles.
Over time your car will pick up tar and iron particles from your brakes. These are spray on products so are quick to apply. First up would be Auto Finesse Iron Out. This reacts with iron turning purple so a great show to be had. Rinse after a few minutes. You can also use this on heavily soiled alloys but shouldn't be used frequently. For Tar I use Gyeon Tar. This physically melts the tar spots, simply spray onto the affected area, leave to dwell then either agitate or rinse off. Again this can be used on alloys.
Next up is claying. You can either use a clay mitt for quicker results or a clay bar. Clay bars are in various grades, depending on if your car has been clayed before. You can test this by running your fingers across the paintwork. If it feels like sandpaper then you'd need a medium grade followed by a fine grade. Pull off a chunk, mold it in the palm of your hand then flatten. You must use a lube, without you will damage the paintwork and cause marring. I use Dodo Juice Born Slippy, liberally spray a panel (ie a wing) and continue to spray while cleaning. You'll need to fold the clay once it's become contaminated. Keep running your fingers on the paintwork, if smooth and you can't hear anything then move on to the next section.
Right what's next. After claying snow foam then rinse off.
Drying. Now this is where a large majority of damage can be done. You want a plush drying towel such as Autobrite the reaper or Auto finesse Aqua deluxe. Plush towels work the same a mitt, the fibres trap any remaining dirt or fallen dust while drying. There are two methods either a dab or fold and light drag in one direction.
Polishing is next. If you have a machine polisher then it all depends on how swirled your paintwork is. If it's heavily swirled then a 3 stage paint correction is required. By 3 stage I mean you'd use 3 grades of compound and pads. Starting off with the most aggressive then refining as you go. I could write another essay on this so if you decide on a 3stage then let me know. If you don't have a machine and need to apply by hand Glazes are great at covering and filling swirls and scratches. These are used on application pads. Work on one panel at a time. Obviously this is a temporary fix and will need to keep applying over time. Product wise I'd recommend Auto Finnese Ultra Glaze, Chemical Guys Glossworkz or Autobrite Renew.
Right then you are almost there to admire your hard work. Sealing and waxing are my two favourite stages. Sealant basically does that, it adds a layer of protection against contamination and salt. These help prolong your paintwork over time. Apply to the whole car including arches, door sills etc. products wise Auto Finesse Tough coat - extremely easy to apply and a little goes a long way. Simply spray into an application pad, apply in a circular motion. Allow to haze then buff off(use tough coat beforehand), Soft 99 fusso, fantastic hydrophobic properties, again apply thinly, allow to haze then buff off. This has up to 12months protection (great for winter). Auto Finesse Power Seal, same as above. There are hundreds of sealants out there but these for me are tried and tested.
Waxing.....where do I begin. You can buy a wax from as little as £10 all the way to well thousands!! Depending on the desired look you can get waxes designed for car shows, these have extra gloss properties but only have a longevity of a few weeks. Different waxes do different things like bring out flake pop, warm glows, added depth. Waxes I use Complete Auto Finesse range, Infinity Wax, Carspunk (yes that's correct) Valet Pro, Soft 99, Autobrite, Waxaddict to name a few. Set your self a budget and stick to it. Waxes can be an enjoyable money pit. Something from the Soft 99 range are a good start.
Don't forget to seal your alloy wheels to help keeping them in tip top condition. You can either use ceramic sealants like Gtechniq or Carbon Collection. Wheel waxes are also available like Poorboys Natty paste or Auto finesse Mint rims. Apply like a normal wax, allow to haze then buff off.
Dressing the plastics and tyres are next. Tyre wise I've used dozens over the years but have found Carbon Collective Sateen to be the best and actually lasts in our weather conditions. Again a little goes a long way. This product gives a satin finish however you can matte or high gloss gels.
Plastics - I use Valet Pro Black to the future which is correctly prepped lasts, again you can use "permanent" products such as Gtechniq and carbon collective.
Once a thorough detail has been carried out you can skip claying, decontamination, polishing and sealing but can top up your wax on regular maintenance washes.
I don't think I've missed anything but probably have but typing all this on my phone is hard work. Feel free to message me.