UPDATE
I started this thread 12 months ago but I wasn't sure that I'd resolved the problem by fitting VibraTechnic engine mounts and using Amsoil gearbox oil. However, after spending another 2 days around The Ring, I'm satisfied that this has been the solution to the problem so I'd recommend this to anyone experiencing the same problem I'd had. The shifting now feels so much smoother too, as though the gearbox has been "broken in". The lack of engine movement on the VibraTechnic mounts also improved the handling of the car so it's been a win-win,

For me this has been the best mod I've done to the car.