Sadly, I’m unable to be quite so enthusiastic about the limited edition BMW Z4 M coupé — a hard-top, hardcore version of the Z4 M convertible. The idea’s good enough. I reviewed the soft-top car a few weeks ago and thought it quite comfy, more a rival for the Jaguar XK than a Honda Fireblade. So the notion of beefing up the suspension and adding a roof to create a stiff road-going racer — yes, that sounds grand.
Hmmm. The first problem is that its back end appears to have been styled by someone who wasn’t concentrating. The old Z3 M coupé was deliberately ugly, like the bastard son of Gérard Depardieu and a bread van, whereas this new one’s just plain, like a supermarket checkout girl.
The second, bigger problem is one of expectation. It’s a long-nosed, short-tailed, two seater in the mould of, say, the old Austin Healey. You know it’s been stiffened up and you know it has the engine from an M3. You can see the fat tyres and the four exhaust pipes, and as you sit there gripping the almost absurdly thick rimmed steering wheel, you are expecting greatness.
And it doesn’t come. Drive it normally, on reasonably smooth roads, and it feels like a normal Z4 M, only with a hard roof and an ugly backside. And you can’t see why you might want to spend nearly £42,000 on such a thing.
Then you find the sort of twisting, bumpy back road that the Ramblers’ Association would like to see governed with a 3mph speed limit and you think: “Yes. Here we go.”
But it won’t. Oh sure, the engine’s a masterpiece but the traction control light flickers constantly, suggesting that the suspension is so stiff the rear wheels are actually airborne half the time. So it lurches and pitches and is generally pretty horrid. Couple this to brakes that are too sharp, a clutch that requires practice and a steering system that’s been toughened up — but not enough — and you’re left with something rather underwhelming.
It’s probably the first disappointing BMW M car I’ve ever driven.
If you want this sort of car, the Porsche Gayman is an obvious rival. It goes harder but is deeply embarrassing to be seen in. So what I’d do is buy the soft-top Z4 M instead. Or if you want something really fun for the weekend, buy a digger.