Stupid things you have done

Years ago ...25 to be exact !
The birth of my son.
I'm in the delivery room,
Doing the manly thing of offering what support I can.
It was our second birth, so I was well aware what my function was supposed to be.
Or so I thought.
Up above by my wife's head , watching the graph and mostly staying out of the way.
So when the moment arrived - things happen very fast, and the medical team were busy with various tasks.
Out of nowhere a Nurse hands me some scissors while another holds up a bluish tube between two hose clips ???
This was not in the plan and came as a total surprise.
But in all honesty I'm thinking
"Everyone is so busy they need me to help out ! "
And I snipped the tube, and thought nothing more of it.

Later of course when things decompressed and settled down , I understood what had happened.
But initially I thought the Doc just needed help.

Judge me if you wish
Bumpy
 
Nice to see such honesty on the forum, and that stupid things are not reserved for my life story...

1. Many years ago, needed to move the car back onto the driveway from the backyard where I had been washing it. Only a few feet, what could possibly go wrong? No need to shut the driver's door when I got in, right...? While moving backwards, edge of (open) door caught the wheelie bin and bent even further open that it was designed to, denting door and damaging hinges. Expensive repair (at the time), but at least explained to wife that wind gust caught the door while open and blew it wide open... and she believed me ( or maybe just humored me) :thumbsup:

2. Playing lawn darts (as a child), threw one straight through my foot...

3. Thought I could squeeze under a building on an Army camp nearby to run a cable between two rooms. So very close to being stuck, but only the thought of the embarrassment of having to be dragged out (or a hole cut in the floor above) by the fire brigade, and having to spend the time waiting for them to arrive with just a dead cat by my head for company, spurred me on to extricate myself unassisted :)

Just a few of many lowlights...
 
Number5 said:
I was taking the wiper blade off of the arm when I accidentally let go it sprang back on to the windscreen, cracking the glass. :headbang:
Click to expand...

You're not alone, I have also done this :lol:
 
Didn't study the degree I wanted to as I thought it wouldn't provide as many opportunities. Instead I chose a generic one that I wasn't interested in, and subsequently I am in a job I'm not interested in instead of something I would wake up to every day and look forward to.
 
MattHall91 said:
Didn't study the degree I wanted to as I thought it wouldn't provide as many opportunities. Instead I chose a generic one that I wasn't interested in, and subsequently I am in a job I'm not interested in instead of something I would wake up to every day and look forward to.
Click to expand...

Been there, done that :(
 
As a BT engineer working on customers PBX systems I once arrived at a customers premises absolutely bursting for a No2, Imagine my delight when I saw the receptions courtesy toilets & charged in, rushed into the cubicle & sat down to do my business, it was then that it dawned on me that the wall tiles were pink & there was a sanitary towel disposal bin in the cubicle with me, I exited very red-faced into a fortunately empty reception except the switchboard operators, which was who I'd come to see :oops:
 
A Couple of work related ones. My boss had arranged a meeting for me and a colleague to attend at Leicester Council. My boss was travelling seperately from me and my colleague. As my colleague was driving he asked if I could print off a location map of the offices. Googled and Printed this off albeight in a slight hurry. Off we set and arrived at the Council slightly late for the meeting. As we arrived at reception my boss rang to ask where we were and said will be with you in a few minutes. Told the receptionist who we were and here for a meeting etc. She looked at the schedule of meetings and said there was nothing on her list, so insistant I gave her the organisers name for which she replied, who? lol again I was insistant. I then turned around to look at a large sign on the wall which read Welcome to Leicester City Council. Our meeting was supposed to be at Leicester County Council miles away :lol: When I googled I put in Leicester Council which produced Leicester City Council first. We raced off and then got lost in the City Centre one way system and arrived at the meeting 90 minutes late :oops: The embarrassment as we walked into the meeting room of 15 people and trying to explain we had a flat tyre :lol:

Second work debacle, myself and a colleague were late for a computer training day and were given the venue but weren't told it had changed. We were told the building but not the room. Arrived at the venue and went along a corridor with empty rooms and finally came to a room full of people. Knocked and entered the room and saw a free seat and went over to sit down and beckoned my colleague to sit next to me but he realised it wasn't the right meeting and was beckoning me back to the door. I sat there looking around the room with everyone staring at me and realised the guy standing up was the mayor and everyone sitting down were Councillors and the council leader lol :oops: :?

I don't go to many meeting now :lol:

Tim.
 
I've been under the impression that the cooker hood we have has been broken for about 9 years. Never got round to replacing it. Thinking I really must change it, I was poking around the wiring this evening. Realised my Dad had installed an isolating switch tucked under one of the wall mounted units. Which must have been knocked into the off position somehow. 9 years ago. Turns out it still works :slaphead:
 
This thread just gets funnier and funnier.
There's something wonderful hearing about other peoples gaffs.
We have some great raconteurs on here :thumbsup: :D
 
Was called to fix a networking problem at a magistrates court 45 miles away from HQ. Poked around a bit, disconnected & reconnected some cables to try and isolate the problem. Eventually got it all working. Made way back to HQ. On arrival the boss asked if there's any reason why none of the CCTV was working at the same magistrates.

Bugger me, i'd managed to unplug the CCTV system & not reconnected it.
 
Marlon said:
This thread just gets funnier and funnier.
There's something wonderful hearing about other peoples gaffs.
We have some great raconteurs on here :thumbsup: :D
Click to expand...
I'll bet we are only scratching the surface.
Keep them coming, all really funny.
 
When I was a lad ( not any time recently!) my dad was a carpenter - one weekend he brought this new Hilti Nail gun home - used little bullet like charges to drive the nail home

So I was determined to get hold of one of these little bullet things and have a look.... so once all was quiet I went looking and decided to take one for further investigation

Outside we had a concrete floored coal shed - so I set about trying to get the 'gunpowder' out of this thing with a pair of pliers ...... what seemed like hours later still no luck so very fed up looked for something bigger and quicker....

There was an axe in there so I decided to hit this thing a few times to loosen it off .....after about three strikes there was an almighty bang and the axe disappeared somewhere over my shoulder....

All I was left with was ringing in my ears ... and a slight feeling of terror thinking what could have happened...

The older I get the more I realise just how lucky I was ... it could have embedded it's self in my noggin and that would have been the end of that as they say!

I would like to think that this has been my only stupid moment in life , but it ain't ......... hey you live to tell the tale right? :headbang:
 
Number5 said:
I was taking the wiper blade off of the arm when I accidentally let go it sprang back on to the windscreen, cracking the glass. :headbang:
Click to expand...

Just confirms older but not necessarily wiser! Doh!
 
Spikey said:
Number5 said:
I was taking the wiper blade off of the arm when I accidentally let go it sprang back on to the windscreen, cracking the glass. :headbang:
Click to expand...

Just confirms older but not necessarily wiser! Doh!
Click to expand...

Get off the Forum and get out driving - It's Sunday Morning :driving:
 
I once shot a mate.

Back in the day when air guns were just classed as toys like. He (Andy, I hope you never get a Z4!) was in the back garden, I was up in my bedroom. I reached over for the rifle and shot him the foot. Apparently, it really hurt, but we only have his word for that! He went down like a sack of spuds, and I never did shoot anyone else after that. The pellet was in his Dunlop Green Flash and struck just between toes.

Yeah, one of the stoopidest things I have done.
 
3rd and final entry from me...

Keith was a great lad.

We'd worked together for a couple of years, so when we were farmed out on the same 6 month assignment, correcting code to fix the Millenium Bug issues, I knew the work would be repetitive, but the company would be good.

3 months in and I was really enjoying myself - as predicted the work was boring, but the conversation flowed - music, films, tv, politics, jokes...

Ah the jokes - Keith was a Scouser, and as we all know, Scousers have a great sense of humour, so it became something of a competition to come up with the funniest joke of the week.

3 months in I'd nailed it with a long shaggy dog joke about Quasimodo. Five minutes of pure theatre, with me providing the full Charles Laughton experience, complete with stupid accent, wild staring eyes and hunched over shuffling walk...

I was just about to deliver the 'Humpty Back Bastard!' punchline when I noticed Keith staring at me intently.

And then I remembered....

Keith had a large, prominent, hump on his back...

:tumbleweed:
 
z4pilot said:
3rd and final entry from me...

Keith was a great lad.

We'd worked together for a couple of years, so when we were farmed out on the same 6 month assignment, correcting code to fix the Millenium Bug issues, I knew the work would be repetitive, but the company would be good.

3 months in and I was really enjoying myself - as predicted the work was boring, but the conversation flowed - music, films, tv, politics, jokes...

Ah the jokes - Keith was a Scouser, and as we all know, Scousers have a great sense of humour, so it became something of a competition to come up with the funniest joke of the week.

3 months in I'd nailed it with a long shaggy dog joke about Quasimodo. Five minutes of pure theatre, with me providing the full Charles Laughton experience, complete with stupid accent, wild staring eyes and hunched over shuffling walk...

I was just about to deliver the 'Humpty Back Bastard!' punchline when I noticed Keith staring at me intently.

And then I remembered....

Keith had a large, prominent, hump on his back...

:tumbleweed:
Click to expand...

:rofl:
Pray tell, how did you get out of it then?
 
obewan said:
:rofl:
Pray tell, how did you get out of it then?
Click to expand...

Completely deflated and red faced, I mumbled my way painfully through the punchline and crawled back to my desk.... The remaining 3 months weren't quite as jolly as the first...
 
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