Stuck in a rut?

S

shabba

Member
*warning: rambling/depressive post*

Not sure why I’m posting this but maybe it will help in some way!

Anyone else found themselves in this situation, I find I’m REALLY tired all the time, espeically at work. Like I could literally fall asleep on the spot most of the day. I think its boredom, I don’t have a huge workload and struggle to be motivated for the work I do, I think I’ve lost interest in it.

I get up 630am, usually sleep for a little bit in the car on the way in, 30mins prob, and same on the way home. Get in 730pm, cook myself dinner and hit the gym from 830-930pm, shower and in bed by 11pm. The days I drive to work I obviously don’t sleep in the car, this doesn’t seem to make much difference and I still get tired, soemtimes it seems hard to keep awake when driving home.

Weekends I will sleep in until 10-11am if possible, usually I will go to be 12ish on a Friday and often not until 2am on a Sat as I tend to be out, although rarely drunk.

I eat healthy, due to training its 7 meals a day, nothing processed or ready meals, all home cooked decent foods, should be getting my 5 a day fruit and veg too. Plus my supplement drink is loaded with all sorts of vits/iron and such The only odd health thing I have is if I get up and don’t eat something solid then after 2 hours I will usually start to feel faint and get the shakes a bit.
Had a blood test for anemia and thyroid and both were fine, did a urine test for one of the diatbeties and it was also ok.

Problem is obviously now isnt a good time to change jobs due to the economy, security is ok here and the pay is alright too, as I live on my own (mortgage) I need that money to cover bills, I don’t have much spare cash but I’m very frugle with it so I still have a nice holiday each year and my car etc but have to watch what I spend. Although I do often wish I had more disposable income, but its my choice to spend the money I have on sensible things like a nice flat, car and holidays rather than drinking it up the wall every weekend or getting in debt.

Problem is I couldn’t afford to change careers and earn less money now. Also I think due to my long days due to the distance to work I have nothing to do when I want to be doing stuff (i.e stuck at work) yet my actual free time is fairly limited, pretty much to the weekends. If I had more free time though I’d probably just spend more money, so another catch22?

I enjoy doing photography as a hobby and may even look at doing that as a career one day, but I need to improve my skills and learning on it, and somehow build up more kit as IMO you need about £5-10k worth of kit to get started. I could sit at work and read up on it but I struggle to learn from a book, don’t have the concentration for it, I pick things up very quickly if I’m leanring direct from someone else or just by my own practice.

Again probably just boredom making me write this but anyone else know where I’m coming from? A feeling of being trapped in a situation perhaps? Not knowing where they are going in life?
I probably have too much time on my hands to think about this stuff and should just go with the flow. Don’t get me wrong some parts of my life are great and I’m very lucky in some respects.
 
I know exactly where your coming from!!

Most of your post sounds like I wrote it!!

Haven't much on in my day job (company is looking a bit shaky to be honest!) and I get soo tired and bored at work! Outside my day job I teach in the fitness industry (this is what pays for the toys like Z4's!!) and I love doing that and I would like to do it as my main job (to make a living at it is hard!), but it won't pay the lifestyle! This is why I put up with the day job!
Just a proving point, I feel tired when I am at work in the day, but feel alive when I'm teaching the fitness stuff, so the wrong job can make you tired through boredom!! :wink:
I teach a couple of hours every day now except Tuesday evenings, and twice a week I teach a 6.45am indoor cycle class before I go to my day job!!

I think your right, I think boredom can make you like this! Also a long hard winter doesn't help!!

I myself know it's time for a change, but change would mean making sacrifices (like owning Z4's for instance!!), but sometimes happiness is about balance. I'm hanging onto my day job as I have a feeling the choice will be made for me sometime early on this year and I would have quite a few years redundancy to come so I will put up with it!

Maybe you should evaluate where you are in your life!

As they say, we are only here once!! :wink:
 
Just a thought!

I used to go to the gym most days and also take part in fitness classes.

One day I thought "Why not teach it?". So I did the relevant qualifications and started teaching in clubs, both fitness classes and gym, so basically I turned the hours I did at the gym into a paying job! And I get free membership of clubs now also! Result!! :thumbsup:
I did the same with Martial Arts before it! Participated for years and ended up teaching at my own clubs (even started my own association!).

Maybe it's something you could look at?
 
You should look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Its broadly about how you think and that thinking patterns relate to how you actually feel. As Breaker says, especially over winter with long dark days its easy to start to feel as if you're stuck in a rut. I think the key thing is to think positively and optimistically! :thumbsup:
 
Trouble is trying to think positively and optimistically is hard when you are actually in a rut! :wink:

You need an exit plan from the rut your in! Something you can latch positive and optimistic thoughts too. :wink:
 
Thanks for the replies guys.

I actually enjoy the gym, it gets me out the flat and its actually quite social down there. Plus I like the results, nice to look fairly decent and be in shape.

I’ve just come back from an awesome 2.5 week holiday so cannot really grumble too much about the winter, was my big holiday for the year and it was superb.

I try and look positively, but I feel when I don’t look at things on such a positive note then I ask myself questions that I cannot answer.

I think work is the big problem for me, but I have no idea how I can sort that one.
 
Breaker said:
pvr said:
I feel ok actually ... am I still allowed to post here? :)
Click to expand...

No your not!

Your delusional!!

Your still thinking the Z4M roadster is the best Z4! :P :fuelfire:
Click to expand...

You are in denial :fuelfire:

Joking apart, it is some sort of depression which can take over your life. All I can say is to focus on the positives of life, not the negatives. Easier said then done of course ...
 
pvr said:
Joking apart, it is some sort of depression which can take over your life. All I can say is to focus on the positives of life, not the negatives. Easier said then done of course ...
Click to expand...
I quite agree as what you described sounds like some sort of depression. Maybe consider getting some professional help...
 
Breaker said:
Your delusional!!

Your still thinking the Z4M roadster is the best Z4! :P :fuelfire:
Click to expand...

Seriously, Breaker, I think you've got issues :cry: I think you and PVR should go on Jeremy Kyle!

shabba, not there myself, but I know what you mean and it's almost always work! Here's some thoughts in no particular order:

Work wise if you're bored try and do more! Not meaning to be rude, but try and be better! If you're external facing at either side make sure they're really happy - one thing that has kept me going is my relationship with some of my clients! If they're really impressed some may even try and poach you in future.

Reference the photography, a friend is on a web site where he can post photos to his gallery and people can also buy off there too. I think the site has a shop for people to buy prints etc. I think he has actually sold a couple. On the learning front, have a look around and find a site with a monthly competition, but one where the subject / topic changes regularly this will push you to try different techniques.

Also, and I want to start by pointing out that most people will think this is cobblers... but I think you may have too much of a routine. Try and break that, do things differently, at different times. There's a good chance it can lead to new things - new people and new experiences. Maybe take off one evening a week for photography, but not the same evening each week!

Breaker may have a more professional opinion on this, but I don't think it's good to be too routinised in your training / eating patterns, you become very conditioned towards certain things at certain times.

Overall though mate, you've got a job, you're paying your mortgage and living within your means... that's a pretty good start :thumbsup: Hope the rest works itself out soon.
 
Gym every day?

Same routine all the time?

I'd say you are a bit bored of life. Live for the moment, do something keraazzzy! Routine kills your drive imo!



£5k-£10k on camera gear? Well if you have to buy all the latest most expensive kit and offer services doing EVERYTHING, then yes, but you can do plenty with fairly modest kit.

Good luck with it!

Dave
 
PawnSacrifice – great post, thank you.

I’m not externally facing, its IT support, I get on well with all my users just find it hard to motivate myself a lot of the time.

I do the photography when I have time, and inspiration, weather isn’t helping too much at the moment though.

The routine thing is probably spot on! I’m VERY rountined indeed, I think it like this because it means I don’t waste my free time as such, or money, or sacrifice getting results I want. Example being I get annoyed if I don’t train 4x a week as I know I will have missed a key session and feel I’ve let myself down, i.e if I train hard and regular, plus keep the diet up then I cannot moan about not getting the results I want from it, make sense? Same with money, I’m VERY strict with it, that way I know I won’t get in debt, I can still have a great holiday each year and do nice things from time to time. I feel if I let the routine slip in any area then I will be annoyed as it will throw a spanner in the works.

You are probably right though, it’s not good for me and I should worry less.

I think its just the work boredom, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t get bored very quickly if I was at home with nothing to do – I can find plenty of thigns to keep me busy at the weekends.
 
PawnSacrifice said:
Breaker may have a more professional opinion on this, but I don't think it's good to be too routinised in your training / eating patterns, you become very conditioned towards certain things at certain times.
Click to expand...

Routine is good, we are routine people by nature these days, but doing the same exercises in your weekly routine doesn't always work. Every few weeks try mixing up you workout. If you do cycle in the gym, try a spin class instead! If you do weights on wednesday, do something different now and then. That sort of thing. The body adapts so keep it guessing now and then! :wink:
 
Funny that, I enjoy the work but I h-a-t-e the gym as it is so boring. For me that is when it is depressing cycling away or pushing weights. I do that now 3 - 4 times a week, and the only enjoyment is when I close that door behind me.

Each to their own ...
 
hi Shabba
Look at the list below: if you have some of them particularly the milder ones it could be low levels of depression. I know there is a lot of stigma attached to the label but in many ways it is just a shortage of a few chemicals running around in the brain. It is very common and doesn't last for ever. It can help explain the unexplained. Check it out with the quack anyway.

Symptoms of depression

If you’re depressed you often lose interest in things that you used to enjoy. Depression commonly interferes with your work, social and family life. In addition, there are many other symptoms, which can be physical, psychological and social.
Psychological symptoms:
continuous low mood or sadness,
feelings of hopelessness and helplessness,
low self-esteem,
tearfulness,
feelings of guilt,
feeling irritable and intolerant of others,
lack of motivation and little interest in things,
difficulty making decisions,
lack of enjoyment,
suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming someone else,
feeling anxious or worried, and
reduced sex drive.

Physical symptoms:
slowed movement or speech,
change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased),
constipation,
unexplained aches and pains,
lack of energy or lack of interest in sex,
changes to the menstrual cycle, and
disturbed sleep patterns (for example, problems going to sleep or waking in the early hours of the morning).

Social symptoms:
not performing well at work,
taking part in fewer social activities and avoiding contact with friends,
reduced hobbies and interests, and
difficulties in home and family life.
 
Problem with the gym is, for it to be really effective it's a life-long thing.

In my view, going out doing different activities would be nicer. Ie, a walk on a sunday, a run one evening, gym another night, a cycle out one weekend and so on.

Not saying routine is bad per se, but if health/fitness is something you really like, then at least spice it up a bit :D


A good friend of mine is into fitness/body building a bit, and he does all sorts of different activities and tries to mix things up a lot... always into some new sport or activity and then moving on to the next.

If every day feels the same then it can't be good for motivation. You need NEW things to motivate yourself :D

Dave
 
pvr said:
Funny that, I enjoy the work but I h-a-t-e the gym as it is so boring. For me that is when it is depressing cycling away or pushing weights. I do that now 3 - 4 times a week, and the only enjoyment is when I close that door behind me.

Each to their own ...
Click to expand...
Shabba

wake up and smell the roses mate - life is there waiting for you to grab it by the balls. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!!!

As a recently jacked-in 20-year IT vet (about to embark on a european property development career thanks to some short sighted corporate management and a prediliction for pouring all my spare cash into property), my first piece of advice would be to look for another role. If you are already in support and have tech knowledge have you thought about relationship management, project management, business development or even a sales role? I made very serious money the last few years doing just that, after moving over from service delivery management and it isn't as hard as you think; once that first commission cheque rolls in you just get all fired up and raring to go, plus as anyone who has ever tried to call a salesman in the office on a Friday knows, its flexible :)

The fact that you are in support and like helping people means you'll have a consultative selling style, which is one of the best.

And if you need motivation, ask yourself (i) do I really want to be rich, (ii) what would I do with the money if I got rich, and (iii) what do I need to do to get rich?

Then just go and network like f*ck and get on with it.....!!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I never expected to be where I am in life now, with a completely new start in front of me at 56 .... but just to give you an example, seven years ago I bought a place in, lets just say a European country in case the tax man is reading (mainly cos my wife was spending £000's on foreign holidays but thats another story!). In the time I've had it we've done a bit of work on it and its gone up in value fourfold. Last year I made a very fat commission on a particular deal and spent the lot on buying a three-acre field next to the house with planning permission on it for 50k euros.....very dull as I could have had a loaded Zed for that money, but it gave me options as, having finished my present career, I now I plan to tart up the main house and sell it....original plan was to repatriate the money (keeping the building plot for later use) and do renovation/development over here, but the market is still not looking good, where the Euro-market is doing well, so it looks like developing the plot is the next stage and with more available at similar prices I can see me spending a lot of time there. I've also cultivated my wifes contacts in the Middle East, as wellas family ones, so I anticipate plenty of other opportunities.

Lets be absolutely clear that I DON'T tell you this to pump my ego - I drive a 'dull' four-pot FFs, I have nothing to prove to anyone - but to explain how you need to get a life plan of some kind and execute and it will all come, but you need to decide what you want first! Just before this life change happened I went to Jordan to meet my wife at the end of a big event she was running and we had several days in the Kempinski Ishtar on the Dead Sea - it cost a bloody fortune but the ass-kissing had to be seen to be believed, and I realised there and then that I wanted to be able to do that stuff whenever I pleased without worrying about the cost. So now we are going to make it happen.

Get yourself a plan NOW and WRITE IT DOWN. Then look at it, monitor progress and refine it every day. And above all, have a dream....a big one. :) :) :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom