Same problem here.
Yes, the pressure washer at the garage is fine. As you say just don't use the brush under any circumstances! Also forget the wax as it's useless, just rinse and dry, polish / wax at home. IMO garage jet washes taking paint off is a myth unless the car is badly painted; it could if you use the high powered type designed for washing patios, masonary, etc but if you put your hand in the stream one of those, it bloody hurts so you would definitely know not to use it on the car. The garage ones are fine.
Alternatively a decent hand car wash can do a good job as long as they use the right gear. A soft wool mitt type cloth and NOT sponges is what you want to see, as well as them rinsing them regularly. If they use that rubber blade to sweep off water prior to drying, don't go back! Clean drying cloths - real chamoix, terry towels, whatever - are also good. I've tried four hand washes in Central London and one (strangely the cheapest) does it right. My car is black so needs doing twice a week...