ON THE LIGHT SIDE
Before this Lockdown (or whatever it’s called) I was enjoying driving my fairly new car a BMW 840i. Of course all my planned trips to Europe have been cancelled.
When I first got the car I thought that I would get to know the Gesture Control system before I dismissed it as a gimmick. To turn the media system on you point the index and middle fingers towards the screen, to turn it off you do the same gesture. An Elton John song started to play and I quickly gave it two fingers which thankfully silenced him instantly. That gave me a certain, cruel satisfaction and I had to smile. I wanted to select Sport mode and wondered what the gesture would be. I thought that if I slapped my left forearm with my right hand and lifted my left arm to point vertically, I could stiffen the suspension, but alas, it didn’t work! My wife is half Italian and as all Italian’s do, she speaks with her hands, swinging them around as she emphasises what she is saying. I thought that she would be switching the radio on and off, opening the sunroof and setting the destination to North Africa in no time!
I soon gave up with Gesture Control and used voice commands instead. “Driver temperature 22”, I said. A female voice answered, “Setting the temperature on the driver’s side to 22 degrees”. Oh, that worked then, so I said, “Passenger temperature 20”. She answered, “Setting the temperature on the passenger side to 20 degrees”. I was really excited by this point and thought, what could I say next. “Take me home”, I said. “Setting the destination for the Home address, arrival timed in one minute”, was her reply.
I like gadgets, but I thought it’s a bloody car, drive the thing. “Oh yes, good idea”, I said, then realised that I was still in voice command role. “What a Twat”, I said. Stop it stop it!
While I was driving, having a serious conversation with Doris (that’s the voice command Woman’s name, well she doesn’t actually have a name, but that is the name I gave her), a driver waiting to emerge from a junction on the left made a gesture towards me. “No thank you”, I said out loud “why would I want a complete stranger do that to me”. Some people are really sick! My Wife is the only one to do that. At another junction a driver made a sign to say that I was the second person to not let him out onto the main road.
I had seen a video where a car like mine drove down a very tight twisty entrance into a car park, then reversed out on its own. I had to try that, so found an empty part of a car park and drove along slowly turning the wheel from left to right. I then selected the button that remembers where I had weaved and the distance sensors started to beep. I looked behind to see an Ice Cream van close behind who wanted out of the car park. Bugger, I had to drive forward again then to the left to let him pass. The driver shook his head slowly from side to side as if saying “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any 99s left”. I decided to drive home.
Before this Lockdown (or whatever it’s called) I was enjoying driving my fairly new car a BMW 840i. Of course all my planned trips to Europe have been cancelled.
When I first got the car I thought that I would get to know the Gesture Control system before I dismissed it as a gimmick. To turn the media system on you point the index and middle fingers towards the screen, to turn it off you do the same gesture. An Elton John song started to play and I quickly gave it two fingers which thankfully silenced him instantly. That gave me a certain, cruel satisfaction and I had to smile. I wanted to select Sport mode and wondered what the gesture would be. I thought that if I slapped my left forearm with my right hand and lifted my left arm to point vertically, I could stiffen the suspension, but alas, it didn’t work! My wife is half Italian and as all Italian’s do, she speaks with her hands, swinging them around as she emphasises what she is saying. I thought that she would be switching the radio on and off, opening the sunroof and setting the destination to North Africa in no time!
I soon gave up with Gesture Control and used voice commands instead. “Driver temperature 22”, I said. A female voice answered, “Setting the temperature on the driver’s side to 22 degrees”. Oh, that worked then, so I said, “Passenger temperature 20”. She answered, “Setting the temperature on the passenger side to 20 degrees”. I was really excited by this point and thought, what could I say next. “Take me home”, I said. “Setting the destination for the Home address, arrival timed in one minute”, was her reply.
I like gadgets, but I thought it’s a bloody car, drive the thing. “Oh yes, good idea”, I said, then realised that I was still in voice command role. “What a Twat”, I said. Stop it stop it!
While I was driving, having a serious conversation with Doris (that’s the voice command Woman’s name, well she doesn’t actually have a name, but that is the name I gave her), a driver waiting to emerge from a junction on the left made a gesture towards me. “No thank you”, I said out loud “why would I want a complete stranger do that to me”. Some people are really sick! My Wife is the only one to do that. At another junction a driver made a sign to say that I was the second person to not let him out onto the main road.
I had seen a video where a car like mine drove down a very tight twisty entrance into a car park, then reversed out on its own. I had to try that, so found an empty part of a car park and drove along slowly turning the wheel from left to right. I then selected the button that remembers where I had weaved and the distance sensors started to beep. I looked behind to see an Ice Cream van close behind who wanted out of the car park. Bugger, I had to drive forward again then to the left to let him pass. The driver shook his head slowly from side to side as if saying “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any 99s left”. I decided to drive home.