Wedding gift etiquette

S

stuartinzg

Active member
Just to set the tone, this isn't a moan just a genuine question...someone else mentioned a similar comment to me recently from another wedding and so I wondered if it's common.

Few weeks ago I went to a friends wedding over here, he has married a Croatian girl and it was as per a typical Croatian wedding. We aren't so close, maybe see each other two or three times a year, but I decided to go along anyway, being a fellow Brit. Not knowing what to buy as gifts, gave him £250 (in local currency) to cover my table costs and a bit more.

He has been on his honey moon, come back-havent heard so much as a peep from him. Not even a quick note on Skype to say what happened or thanks for coming.

Mentioned it to my other half and she's annoyed since it is common to send small gifts here (such as locally produced honey in small pots) and a little gift to your guests thanking them (on the assumption you give a present). It didn't bother me so much, but someone else mentioned the same thing happened at another wedding.

I'd take the time to thank everyone personally who came to my wedding, with either an email or a card for the older generation.

Am I old in my thinking ? Sometimes a bit of consideration means more than the value of something itself. We did make an effort to go, since it was fairly out of our way.

I'm sat on the fence about it, but it got me thinking, what do my fellow members think about wedding etiquette?

Cheers
 
Sorry but no comment from me - this is potentially way more dangerous than religion, politics or even Roadster v Coupe ownership! :rofl:
 
Id say that a thank you note/card would be the normal response to all those that attended and/or gave a gift. I wouldn't expect any sort of thank you gift, although its a nice idea I don't think its the norm.

So I agree you should be thanked but I would say that it can take a while to get these things out. Id not expect a thank you card for at least a month maybe two.
I went straight on my honeymoon after marriage so didn't even open gifts until 3 weeks after the wedding.
 
Rob s said:
Id say that a thank you note/card would be the normal response to all those that attended and/or gave a gift. I wouldn't expect any sort of thank you gift, although its a nice idea I don't think its the norm.

So I agree you should be thanked but I would say that it can take a while to get these things out. Id not expect a thank you card for at least a month maybe two.
I went straight on my honeymoon after marriage so didn't even open gifts until 3 weeks after the wedding.
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+1 on this. Been to a couple of weddings over the Summer. Took a while with honeymoon, back to work, etc. but both couples sent thank-you cards and one provided a link to their wedding photos inc a pop up diner booth they had for comical photos so we could download those of interest or order.

The thank-you card was the right thing to receive and appreciated
 
Call me old fashioned but agree 100% with everyone who said some form of thank-you is the correct thing to do.
 
ekimj10 said:
Call me old fashioned but agree 100% with everyone who said some form of thank-you is the correct thing to do.
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Agree with above sentiment .A very generous present.
 
This wedding only happened a few weeks ago. He then went on his honeymoon (usually a week, maybe 2). So he's likely been back a couple of weeks max and most likely has to sort everything out.

Give him/them time. But yes, I'd expect a simple thankyou letter/card/email with links to photos.

Also £250? Jesus christ, I hope you don't get invited to too many weddings :lol:
 
Yep true, I think it was about 5-6 weeks ago now. I did expect at least a quick message on Skype or instant message, but you are probably right.

It is custom over here to contribute to the wedding so the bride and groom are better off than before the wedding. 1000kn per head is pretty normal even for poorer people (2 people - 2000kn / £250-£280).

It can really be a problem for those with a low salary and big families.

It's also normal to pay for everything on your own birthday !
 
john-e89 said:
Go easy on him Stuart, it's probably just sinking in what he's gone and done... :P
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I'm on the fence, not annoyed - my friend was at another wedding (same issue), and my girlfriend thinks it's rude, but I'm mostly indifferent (to be honest I couldn't care less...!) I was just genuinely interested in other people's ideas since I haven't been to many - I have managed to somehow avoid most of them... (unintentionally)
 
I've been to a few weddings were the marriage doesn't last that long,six months being the shortest.You would be miffed if you had given a gift of £250 plus :cry:
 
maxman said:
I've been to a few weddings were the marriage doesn't last that long,six months being the shortest.You would be miffed if you had given a gift of £250 plus :cry:
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Yep, but the culture here is "give to receive" rather than give without consideration to receive... therefore, when you get married, you expect equal reciprocation. People actually track how much money they received from guests and then ensure suitable amount is returned in response... odd I know, but welcome to the Balkans ;)
 
stuartinzg said:
maxman said:
I've been to a few weddings were the marriage doesn't last that long,six months being the shortest.You would be miffed if you had given a gift of £250 plus :cry:
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Yep, but the culture here is "give to receive" rather than give without consideration to receive... therefore, when you get married, you expect equal reciprocation. People actually track how much money they received from guests and then ensure suitable amount is returned in response... odd I know, but welcome to the Balkans ;)
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So I'm guessing people marry to get their money back :D
 
Had this discussion with the new wife this weekend (after attending another wedding).

UK definitely seem to embrace the thank you card culture.

We attended a Portuguese wedding the year before and they mentioned to us later that they didn't send cards (I hadn't noticed!) - it's just not a 'thing' there apparently.

Is it Croatian tradition?
 
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