some time life gets you down!!!

What your mum needs if support...although knowing you, i am sure you are doing much more then most families, there are many many sources of support for people suffering from depression. Lots of organisations/charities/support services can be accessed either by yourselves or your GP. The support of offer can range from simple things like social reintegration to formal counselling/group therapy/CBT.

Also important to consider the health and wellbeing of you and your wife because if you support you mum without looking after yourself then further problem will follow.

MM you have my number...just give me a call. As you know i am a GP in Birmingham so well familiar with depression! look at Lux, under all that confidence is a psychiatric time bomb. West Midlands!
 
Good to let things go in tough times Mm & a reminder that ill health with someone close can be both frustrating & exhausting .
Have you tried combining 2 things that you obviously think a lot about ? Take your mum out for a roof down blast in the Z ?
Best of luck mate :thumbsup:
 
I feel for you and what you're going through. I lost my Mother a couple of years ago - she didn't die, she just wasn't my mother any more, thanks to the dreaded alzheimers. I visit her of course, but there's no recognition, she says things that can hurt and she looks like a skeleton.

Sometimes things ARE beyond ones control, and there's no point beating oneself up about bad situations that one can't change. As my Mother always used to say to me when something or someone was really getting me down "rise above it son, lifes to short".
Scorp.
 
Wow so much good advice hear thanks very much. My mum did get professional help after a nasty incident when I was very young. And again about 15 years ago she is reluctant to try anything weather that's trying a new hobby meeting new people or talking to strangers even if they are there to help.

I have been trying my best or a long time. I think you guys are right and I need to look at getting my mum some other help for her and me.

Dr Nick I didn't know I could do that. It sounds like a good first step and i think i will call them tomorrow. RLiu you are my oldest forum friend and I might well be calling you soon o talk about the social reintegration. That sounds to me!! Exactly what my mum needs.

Stuart I have booked Thursday for beer and a few mates. Good to hear our obviously back to you :thumbsup:

Bloody good idea mr Wilks she hates it as its so low. But she hasn't been out in the zed with the roof down. We share genetics and it puts a bloody big mile on my face.

Thanks again guys really mean it.

Apart from lux who just smells worse then a thousand camels A holes :rofl:
 
RLiu said:
look at Lux, under all that confidence is a psychiatric time bomb.
Click to expand...

Thanks mate, you can do your house hunting on your own now!! :crazydude:

Only a thousand camels monkey, thanks!! Although I think that smell was Liam :lol:
 
Chin up, monkey! :)

Anything you or other people can do to help her get out and about a bit more should help her state of mind. She might not thank you for it initially, but you need to totally disassociate your own mental health from hers otherwise it's just going to drag you down every time she goes through a rough patch.

Are there any positive examples of situations/shared experiences with your mum that you can concentrate on? You're right about your post being a bit doom & gloom, and if that's the picture you're playing over and over in your head you need to change it, fast, because you are basically just training yourself into a depressive state.

I find these things come in waves. If you don't vent regularly and in moderation, your anxiety just builds up until you explode (and someone gets it in the ear, e.g. Z4 forum :D), and the cycle repeats.
 
I can only say this must be hard, i haven't met you (yet ;)) but i defintely respect your commitment thus far, i have friends with family that have abandoned their dependants and it really annoys me. I do hope things improve for you and your Mum.

Perhaps (based on no knowledge or experience myself at all..) the best thing to do is for you to seek professional help, for guidance of how to best to approach helping your mum? I can't imagine how hard it must be. The only thing i do know is the kind of professionals that tend to deal with this are always incredibly experienced and seem to have a never ending commitment to probably one of the most difficult jobs there is! I know i couldn't do it..

Best of luck.
 
MM, sorry to hear this. I know how you feel having also had a parent with depression issues. You'd be surprised how common an issue it seems to be.
If professional medical help is not something she will consider then what about a community or self help approach where people with similar experiences can talk.
Something like http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/self-help-group-map.html

Best wishes and I hope she can find the help that suits her.
 
sorry I am lost for words, its good to get it off your chest

group forum hug goes out to you
 
MM-
Sorry to hear of the personal challenges - seems like they are always popping up somewhere. Hang in there and keep doing your best. Sometimes it helps to take a long term view of things - think about how you will feel about your actions in 5 - 10 years. This will help you stay with the right thing - whatever that is, for you.
Get what ever help you can, don't take it all on yourself.
Take good care of your wife, too. She's a keeper!

Sending good thoughts your way....
 
Sorry to hear of the tough time you're experiencing. My Mother suffered with depression through 'the change' and she found after speaking to her girlfriends that giving herself a 'project' helped. She initially started planning a redecoration of the house, and has since moved into making cards and scrap booking. She loves it as its mainly women of her age, with something to focus on either at home or the various classes you can attend. Is there anything that interests / has interested your mum that you could 'get her into' so to speak? Hope you find a resolution, best wishes.
 
Sorry MM just caught up with this thread, sounds like your mum has had it rough to say the least, sometimes we all take it out on the people we love and are closest to, stick in there and as Finn says good luck :thumbsup:
 
Well done so far mate, I say! To of been a support already for so long is commendable.

Depression is a really tough one. I have a few close to me who struggle with it. It's hard to suggest professional help if she feels it gave her little the first time. What's great though is that she has you! You need to make sure you are kept in shape to be able to deal with it.
It's hard to remember to listen with the 'emotional sieve' to take out what the illness is saying and figure out what's really being said.
Ie 'I never see you, you do nothing for me' becomes 'I'd love to see you, I need a hand with something' turning what naturally comes out as a negative into a positive 'that's what they mean' sentence if that make sense!?

I hope things look up soon mate. :)
 
So sorry MM, having met and talked to you at the meet last Sunday. I had no idea this was going on.

I'm probably older than your mom, at the age of 65. My mom is still alive at 93 and she is just starting to have care problems that are putting demands on me and my brother, not an easy time I know.

I don't know what else go say other than I can understand, and, hang in there buddy.
 
Thanks again for the kind words and great advice.

There is a lot hear for me to think about. Not only to make sure i am ok. But also to help my mum.

It was a doom and gloom post. Be i am generally a happy guy. I don't feel my life is falling apart. But this has been going on to long. I would really like my mum to be happy and enjoy life a bit more. And for my own reasons i want to know i have done all i can to help.

Thanks again everyone.
 
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