Hi been observing this thread with some interest and feel for you over your dilemma
To try and answer some of the concerns you have raised - about passing MOT with oil consumption I have an avensis that uses excessive oil - probably about a litre every 400 miles - this I know is due to bore wear (ignore that bit this is not the point) however it has passed MOT with no advisories on emissions - the cat works hard to remove any evidence of oil use - however a year ago I replaced the cats due to eml so the warning here is that the cats will eventually not cope any more if oil burning is going on and nothing is done - unfortunately I can't give you an imdication of how long but I've probably put 2k miles on the avensis with the new cats and still no eml reoccurance
I can't help thinking that a really good run out - lots of miles and using full range of power wouldn't do your car any harm - not a professional recommendation - just if it was mine I would do this - 200 miles or so. It doesn't do these cars any good whatsoever to do short trips constantly and you need to get it out doing what it was designed to do. Let's face it it will either bring it to a head or revert the car to normal
As others have said before the above I would change the valve - it can't do any harm- and if it turns out to cure great - if it doesn't then a good run out will provide mor info
Have you checked for codes?
Sorry can't be more helpful but shame you can't enjoy your car after so much caring