Seeking an immaculate Z4 35is

Stevo1987 said:
Smartbear said:
Z4MAD said:
Dear Comrade Plastic,

Thank you for responding to Comrade Tourette's most kind post concerning your BMW Z4 35is. And yes, I am aware that it is available and whilst I do very well understand that grey is presently hugely contemporaneous, it is not, however, a colour that I find particularly appealing, this is because I am most definitely not contemporaneous, in actual fact I am almost totally inappropriate to the time in which I exist, from which definition you will readily be aware that I am the consummate anachronism.

I am very confident you will soon find a new custodian who will be absolutely delighted with the colour and indeed all other aspects of your quite wonderful machine,... I found this out many years ago when selling a house and could not understand why no one seemed to want it, then seemingly from absolutely nowhere, three prospective candidates appeared; needless to say the house was soon to be sold enabling us to move on to our new home, which we would not have found had our original home sold at a much earlier stage. For myself, I am utterly convinced that things happen for a reason just as the opposite may be the case when conversely, they do not happen, for a reason. We may not know what the reason may be, but always this is the case. I am confident this will be the case for you.

With kind regards,

Z4 MAD of Chocolate Chimney Cottage

You’re Jacob Rees Mogg & i claim the secret prize :thumbsup:
Rob
I don't think JRM would be looking for a second hand Z4. I don't think this guy (?) is either.

Dear Comrade Smartbear,

Z4 mad here, I am a trifle troubled by a single aspect of apparel to wit, ties, in particular, beautiful ties created from that most wondrous of material, pure and unadulterated silk.

I note from my convoluted peregrinations within the confines of the City of London, and indeed that of its urban boundaries and onward into the furthest hinterlands of this Realm of England that, the propensity for the wearing of this most delightfully charming item of a gentleman's apparel has markedly diminished since the advent of Covid-19. May I be so bold, please, as to seek the wise counsel of the gentlemen participants of this Forum dedicated to the promulgation of a certain Teutonic horseless carriage and inhabited by fellow members of the nobility and gentry since time immemorial. My quest, is what, pray is the reason that seemingly so many gentlemen appear to have abandoned their silk ties? And please, before any gentleman should stand up and shout at me, I would confirm that I am totally and utterly cognisant to the clear and unequivocal fact that all gentleman members of this forum will wear a tie prior to engaging in polite discourse within this most select of all internationally lauded gentleman's clubs which easily exceeds the worldwide reputation of that of the Carrick. So, may I request, please, that all gentlemen of this illustrious club should, throughout the day, ruminate upon this matter which highlights the decline in sartorial elegance for which England has always been at the forefront of the world. And yes, I am quite fully cognisant that lady members of the aristocracy engage with gentlemen aristocrats within this club; I am not promulgating that the ladies should wear ties, but would, with the utmost delicacy, make the most gentlest of enquiries within the most politest of manner concerning their knickers and will they kindly confirm to the gentlemen members that they are of silk. Should a lady member of the club wear knickers of any other such material, then please do not reveal this, as I could not possibly bear to hear it and my whole day would be rent asunder.

With kind regards,

Z4MAD of Purple Peacock Manor
 
Dear Mad,
You will note I have omitted the first part of your title as I believe it to be superfluous.
I am a little dismayed at your extremely blinkered view of today's society as I am currently wearing a fine pair of silk knickers, kindly loaned to me by my wife (she even had the good humour to take in the waist a little).
Your churlish assumption that it is only ladies who wear such apparel has caused my whole day to be rent asunder.
 
Dearest Comrade Enuff_Zed,

Oh, please, I am just so terribly sorry to have caused to you such iniquitous offence; I trust you will see it in you your heart and within the deepest corners of your soul to exonerate me for this most gravest of breaches concerning breeches. I can hardly believe that I handled this most delicate of matters with such chauvinism, I am just so utterly appalled at this wretched oversight. The only rationale I can offer to you therefrom to assist you in finding it within your heart to forgive me, is that I would advise you that an Succubus paid a visit upon me in the early hours of this morning; I am not cognisant as to whether you have experienced such an phenomenon, but you should you have, you will quite fully understand how tired and weary I am, and yet I have a full day ahead of me the only good fortune I shall have, is the benefit of Sabrina my chauffeuse, who will convey me in the most gentlest of manner throughout the travails of my day and the many leagues over which she will be my companion as we motor throughout the highways and byways of the autumnal English countryside. And yes, before you ask, she is Rolls-Royce trained and therefore you will understand that she has the most delicate of gossamer touch. Do not worry for me, for all will be well ........

With kind regards,

Lord MAD of Cannon Fodder Castle
 
Welcome back 'MAD!
I don't care what your purpose is on here, I find you hugely entertaining. Long may it (you) continue! :D
 
Dear Comrade enuff-Zed,

Nay, good sir, it is your goodself in making an critique of my grammar, have concocted an most exiguous single letter sort of miniature catachresis ......

Naturally, I shall bear you no ill will, or even the most minuscule of grudge whatsoever; but of course in the circumstances of the deshabille succubus had I made such an cataclysmic error as that inferred and implied, (which so easily could have happened given the circumstances of last night) I would have immediately craved your forgiveness.

With kind regards,

Z4MAD of Candlewick Cottage
 
Z4MAD said:
Dear Comrade enuff-Zed,

Nay, good sir, it is your goodself in making an critique of my grammar, have concocted an most exiguous single letter sort of miniature catachresis ......

Naturally, I shall bear you no ill will, or even the most minuscule of grudge whatsoever; but of course in the circumstances of the deshabille succubus had I made such an cataclysmic error as that inferred and implied, (which so easily could have happened given the circumstances of last night) I would have immediately craved your forgiveness.

With kind regards,

Z4MAD of Candlewick Cottage

Being somewhat fed up with your inputs now, I am going to revert to language that the other members can understand more simply:

If you are going to talk bollocks, then at least do so with the correct grammatical use of the English language.

'An' before a vowel sound (note, not necessarily a vowel, but a word that sounds as though it starts with a vowel - an hour, for example)

'A' before a consonant sound.

Let me enlighten you further;
Many on here have formed the opinion that you are A twat, whereas I believe you to be AN arse.
 
We seem to have a polarised opinion of this member, some find the posts entertaining, others extremely irritating. I suspect the number of the former to drop and the latter increase as time goes on.
 
Scubaregs said:
We seem to have a polarised opinion of this member, some find the posts entertaining, others extremely irritating. I suspect the number of the former to drop and the latter increase as time goes on.

Wearing extremely thin now!
 
enuff_zed said:
Scubaregs said:
We seem to have a polarised opinion of this member, some find the posts entertaining, others extremely irritating. I suspect the number of the former to drop and the latter increase as time goes on.

Wearing extremely thin now!

Now? :rofl:
 
enuff_zed said:
Z4MAD said:
Dear Comrade enuff-Zed,

Nay, good sir, it is your goodself in making an critique of my grammar, have concocted an most exiguous single letter sort of miniature catachresis ......

Naturally, I shall bear you no ill will, or even the most minuscule of grudge whatsoever; but of course in the circumstances of the deshabille succubus had I made such an cataclysmic error as that inferred and implied, (which so easily could have happened given the circumstances of last night) I would have immediately craved your forgiveness.

With kind regards,

Z4MAD of Candlewick Cottage

Being somewhat fed up with your inputs now, I am going to revert to language that the other members can understand more simply:

If you are going to talk bollocks, then at least do so with the correct grammatical use of the English language.

'An' before a vowel sound (note, not necessarily a vowel, but a word that sounds as though it starts with a vowel - an hour, for example)

'A' before a consonant sound.

Let me enlighten you further;
Many on here have formed the opinion that you are A t**t, whereas I believe you to be AN arse.

Dear Enuff-Zed,

Oh dear, I am so sorry that I have caused you to have been forced to utilise expletives, when but a little while ago I was showered with compliments. And yet I believe I have done nothing that is intrinsically wrong save for for the omission of, or an addition of, but one single letter the use of which we appear to differ. For myself, I am an logophile, therefore, never would I engage within an logomachy. I am so sorry that I have upset you as it would never be my intention to do so. For myself, I endeavour to be most careful in the handling of others, I never, ever, engage within altercations, even when they may be forced upon me; I resolve any issue within my own soul, by asking myself, "I wonder what sort of day a personage is having and what may be happening within in his, or her, life, to behave in such an tempestuous manner"

May I request, please, that once again you accept my most sincere apology for the offence I appear to have quite unwittingly caused to you.
Thank you.

With kind regards,

Z4MAD
 
Nanu said:
Pondrew said:
I still think the chap is an genius! :D :thumbsup:
Gazooks! a genius per chance but zed less nevertheless :thumbsdown:

He will be seedless from now until eternity, if he ever finds one he wants to buy he will try and pay in groats and then expect a cost down as there is no oxen to make the wheels turn :rofl:
 
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