Mortgage Pre-nup?

Dav the wheel nut said:
You asked for an opinion so here it is. What a sad negative start to a relationship if one of your biggest considerations is your own money.
Perhaps you are with the wrong girl :cry:
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I don't think I am, but I've thought that in the past, just fortunately never bought a house with them. The majority of relationships (i don't mean marriages) end in a breakup, but it's like insurance. You don't buy it planning on a crash, but in case the worst should happen you don't want to be out of pocket?

Like I said, if/when we were to marry, then that's a different story.
 
domsz4 said:
never doubt no matter how happy you are that something may happen. hopefully it wont, but you can never say never. from personal experience it can and does. where money and scorned love is involved it can get messy quick.

i would also put a note on the mortgage to say that nothing can be done without each parties consent. it can and may protect you both.
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Exactly.

And with the second part, isn't that a standard thing?
 
You are wise to be asking these questions. Even if you are not married once you live together for a short while things become 50/50 unless there is an agreement in place. We know a young couple who were planing to marry, bought a house together, using mainly his deposit. Turns out she is a bit nuts so it's all off. Problem being his grand parents are now spending a small fortune, so that he can keep a house he should already own, as every thing was done in joint names. :cry:

Trust is always the most important thing in any relationship, so talk it through with your partner,then get it solicitor to draw up something suitable for your situation. :thumbsup:
 
You can create 'A deed of trust' which you can sign pre purchase and can be executed upon sale. This should protect/isolate your initial investment should the property be sold. If you realise an increase in value, after your initial deposit is covered only the increased amount on that is split, but if you see a negative return then you'll both suffer the losses which will also include your initial deposit. It'll probably cost you £250 to have one put in place....if you have to execute it (if she contests it) then this will cost another chunk more.

IMO I think it's better to just part with it, she'll no doubt do more 'housework' and this makes up for the deposit...and for the sake of peace at home and level playing field I'd go this way. Initiate a DOT and it'll always be a point of contention....

Generally I find banks not keen on these, just serves to makes things more messy their end!
 
We did this. We had a Deed of Trust drafted by our solicitor, outlining the equity split and covenants for various eventualities. It is signed and witnessed, and there are copies with our next of kin (and solicitor, although it technically isn't a document "on file", in the professional sense).

The Deed of Trust is mainly to help with arbitration because we are "Tenants in Common" and not "Joint Tenants". We will probably change this when we get married and sort a proper will etc.
 
A Deed of Trust is a very good idea and cover ALL possible bases. I think its a very sensible approach and can possibly save alot of heartache and nastiness should things go wrong. I would do it, then hopefully enjoy a lifelong happy relationship. From my experience of friends marriages and relationships now matter how happy they are things do fall apart and surprised how the one partner can turn very nasty to get what they want.

Better still, live in seperate houses, seperate everything :D

Tim.
 
You are going down the right road, get everything rubber stamped and signed by both of you because it really does sound like you would regret not doing it in a few years :(
 
As others have said pretty sad at the start of new turn in a relationship to have to be doing this and suggests trusts issues. With enough money and the right lawyer they can be over turned in court to be nothing more than bog paper. .
 
Ignore the breakup scenario for one moment. There are other good reasons to do this, e.g. it will help save your parents a lot of additional grief if one of you gets hit by a bus.

Just a get a proper will as soon as you are married, and then after that you'll quickly start getting to the stage where nobody else will have you. Apparently you have a ginger beard, so you have already pulled off a miracle. :D
 
Get the mortgage on your own if you can, Make her pay you rent under a house share agreement, then once you're bored with her, Get shut and keep your investment. Every penny you take from the rent make as a payment towards the mortgage.

99.5% of women are totally insane, and generally this insanity doesn't come out fully until about 2-years in. The trick is to find one who'se insanity you can live with on a day to day basis.

If it turns out you can deal with her sh*t... I mean insanity sorry... Marry her! Then by law she then pretty much owns half of everything that's yours stuff and gets back what she's paid in the form of ownership!
 
Love threads like his ........... :rofl:

Trying to plan logically for a situation that should it happen, will defy all logic :rofl:

Best advice I can give would be to just go ahead and assume all will be well and perfect, if you do not you will already be starting on the wrong foot.

The big thing most people forget prior to breakups is the emotional hell hat gets introduced into the situation ....... in my own experience for example, no matter what paperwork I had signed, or whatever I had previously agreed, when it came down to it I was more than happy, joyous in fact to give her everything single thing I owned just to get rid of her lol. .......

As a respected man once said, you just have to stop thinking of it as your money ........... or another who said, if it has tits or wheels its going to cost you a fortune lololol

Real Life is not how exactly how you think it is going to be when you are young lololl ........

and as a final gem, just do it mate, dive in head first and get on with like everybody else, why should you be happy ? :rofl:
 
Liam-O said:
Paulwirral said:
Not trying to be funny here , have you spoken to her about this first ?
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Of course, but what's agreed now verbally might not be what happens in years time if it all went wrong. That's the idea...
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To be fair , if you've discussed it and she's willing to look into it your doing well , about 4 years ago a couple I know decided to get married , everything booked and lists done , he decided it would be prudent , as he already owned the house , to get some sort of pre nup .
Fast forward to now , she's happily married , to someone else :lol:
He's still got his house that he sits in on a night and wonders what may have been :rofl:
It comes with age , but you will realise there's much more to life than money .
Good luck with whatever path you choose
 
I had a friend in a similar situation. He had a contract that stated should they sell the house he got back his deposit and everything else was split. When he married her they cancelled it.
Some on here saying its not a good start but I think its fine. Obviously it depends on the money involved if you're trying to safeguard your £5k then maybe its over the top. In my friends case he had saved over £120k as a deposit over almost 10 years. That's a lot to lose if the other person tries to take half if you split up.
 
Liam-O said:
Paulwirral said:
Not trying to be funny here , have you spoken to her about this first ?
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Of course, but what's agreed now verbally might not be what happens in years time if it all went wrong. That's the idea...
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Yes but have you spoken to her about having to sign a pre nup?
What was her response? You never know you might not have a decision to make.
Out of interest I put this scenario to a number of couples I know and most of the women were of the opinion 'go take a hike and take your deposit with you' :thumbsdown:
I haven't seen much response from female forum members yet. :(
 
Go on - buy the car. In the long run it'll be cheaper...


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Dav the wheel nut said:
Liam-O said:
Paulwirral said:
Not trying to be funny here , have you spoken to her about this first ?
Click to expand...

Of course, but what's agreed now verbally might not be what happens in years time if it all went wrong. That's the idea...
Click to expand...

Yes but have you spoken to her about having to sign a pre nup?
What was her response? You never know you might not have a decision to make.
Out of interest I put this scenario to a number of couples I know and most of the women were of the opinion 'go take a hike and take your deposit with you' :thumbsdown:
I haven't seen much response from female forum members yet. :(
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That's exactly what happened to my friend in the example a couple of posts up . She told him to do one as he obviously thought more of his money than her . He still says he can't believe she left him for that !
Like I said though , he still has his house to sit in , alone , every night .
 
When people are asking "have I spoken to her". The answer is yes. It had been something I had considered (in my head) when discussing our future, but it was actually her who mentioned it out load first. Certainly my questions aren't with raising the subject with her, but the practicalities and process of doing it.

Paulwirral, It may be that she was just after an easy ticket in life and she was put off by the fact it wasn't going to be so easy. Or maybe they weren't right for each other and the "prenup" saved him before it was even drawn up.

If you take the "girlfriend" part out of it, and if it was something you were doing with a friend, then having something in writing would be a given when 100% of the risk is with 1 party?

I'm not suggesting that I think our relationship will go wrong, we can't predict the future. But I'm sure we can all appreciate that when they do go wrong (and a lot do, I'm sure a lot of you out there aren't still with girlfriend number 1), it's rarely mutual with sunshine and smiles.

The topic certainly has split people's opinion, and buy the sound of it some may have already been burnt in the past.
 
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