Liverpool sign Ukrainian striker.

[Scubaregs]

He calls home all excited after his debut, "Guess what mum" he says, "We beat Manchester united 3 nil away and I got a hat trick!"

"Well done son" says his mum, "Unfortunately though we have some bad news here, the house has been bombed, the ruins robbed of everything of value, your sister gang raped and your brothers and father killed trying to protect her."

"It's all your fault too" she says.

"OMG, but how is it my fault?" he asks.

"Well" she replies, "You’re the idiot that brought us to live in Liverpool."

 

[enuff_zed]

Brilliant! No doubt you'll be castigated for reinforcing stereotypes, but still very funny.

 

[Scubaregs]

Can be changed to suit any town or city mate.

 

[sp3ctre]

Can be changed to suit any town or city mate.

Not quite the same if you substitute "Bath" or "Windsor" lol

 

[IRD]

Got some friends from Liverpool. But daren’t send this. They would never speak tome again.

 

[Chris_D]

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

 

[Scubaregs]

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

 

[sars]

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work [ref]Scubaregs[/ref],

 

[Scubaregs]

[ref]sars[/ref], Wilco.

 

[Mr Tidy]

 

[john-e89]

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work [ref]Scubaregs[/ref],

Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....

 

[buzyg]

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

On form tonight Lar. :lol:

 

[Chris_D]

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work [ref]Scubaregs[/ref],

Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....

Oh jesus, the whole squad of old coffin-dodging bingo handbag swingers is here now.
I might have known you’d chip in at some stage John. Shouldn’t you be polishing your pushbike or falling off a ladder somewhere?
:lol:

 

[Chris_D]

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

On form tonight Lar. :lol:

Just stickin up for the ‘pool lar. Well, someone around here has to.
:roll:

 

[john-e89]

The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work [ref]Scubaregs[/ref],

Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....

Oh jesus, the whole squad of old coffin-dodging bingo handbag swingers is here now.
I might have known you’d chip in at some stage John. Shouldn’t you be polishing your pushbike or falling off a ladder somewhere?
:lol:

Chrissy you weren't nearly man enough for her, she's gone, let it go and move on old boy....you ain't got much time left.

 

[Chris_D]

Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....

Oh jesus, the whole squad of old coffin-dodging bingo handbag swingers is here now.
I might have known you’d chip in at some stage John. Shouldn’t you be polishing your pushbike or falling off a ladder somewhere?
:lol:

Chrissy you weren't nearly man enough for her, she's gone, let it go and move on old boy....you ain't got much time left.

John, if only you had an idea of the totty I still manage to pull by staying single, keeping myself in shape, cycling a bit further than 4 miles and not falling off ladders etc.
As for my good ladyfriend Laura, we were only ever mates you gargantuan gossipmonster.
As for time left, yours was called ages ago fella! You’re deffo playing on into ‘extra time’ these days :lol:

 

[john-e89]

Ok Chrissy....whatever you say How much does all this "Totty" charge in Holland anyway..?


It's 23miles a day just to be pedantic, some with lekky help, some not....meh....I can't have a debate with a flat road cyclist can I....

 

[Chris_D]

Ok Chrissy....whatever you say How much does all this "Totty" charge in Holland anyway?

Nothing John. I like to think that my suave, sophisticated and debonnaire demeanour, finely manicured tache, velvet pants and extraordinary talents in reciprocating pleasure in the bedroom is payment enough for any fine lady!
:lol:

 

[john-e89]

Ok Chrissy....whatever you say How much does all this "Totty" charge in Holland anyway?

Nothing John. I like to think that my suave, sophisticated and debonnaire demeanour, finely manicured tache, velvet pants and extraordinary talents in reciprocating pleasure in the bedroom is payment enough for any fine lady!
:lol:
B2DCB3EB-7C07-4DD7-A381-1B198E2DC527.jpeg

That's Tony Iommi that is....

 

[Chris_D]

Ok Chrissy....whatever you say How much does all this "Totty" charge in Holland anyway?

Nothing John. I like to think that my suave, sophisticated and debonnaire demeanour, finely manicured tache, velvet pants and extraordinary talents in reciprocating pleasure in the bedroom is payment enough for any fine lady!
:lol:
B2DCB3EB-7C07-4DD7-A381-1B198E2DC527.jpeg

That's Tony Iommi that is....

It’s Peter Wyngarde, you muppet.
A man you couldn’t measure up to even if you were perched on sars and scubaregs shoulders while bouncing on a trampolene with a fire underneath it!