Hey,
Recent comments on a sales thread, which I never normally do, have given me the push to call it a day, whilst not rude or offensive I’ve gone further than is acceptable to me. These comments have coincided with a few picky moments which I should not get involved with.
Disclosing personal stuff on a public forum is a choice we make, lots would say not to do it but I can’t leave with a bitter taste in my mouth. For the last proabably 10 yrs or so I’ve been fighting depression, not feeling sorry for myself, proper depression, a chemical imbalance, an illness. I’ve fought it in the usual way, pick yourself up lad and get on with it, but it doesn’t work, last years 8 months of surgery for bits and pieces have worked but the heart op this time last year that went wrong has tipped the scales to an unacceptable level, I’ve got so much worse this year, leading to moments of desperation. Thoughts of a pipe in the car window on the moors we’re getting more and more tempting. Thankfully for my sons sake I’ve realised I can’t carry on and started medication 6 months ago which initially worked very well but the side effects were too awful to carry on with those particular drugs. 5 different lots now and we’re still trying to find the right ones, hopefully we’re getting close. The difference they make is immense. Dramatic? Well, If you haven’t had any experience of real depression you’ll probably be giving me the w***er sign reading this, fair shout. Anybody remember Gary Speed? Top footballer then Leeds Utd manager, loved by the fans, a very fair player on the pitch, oodles of money in the bank, lovely family, hung himself in his grarage. I can relate how he felt, I’m not at his level but it’s creeping up. It’s really not something you can control without drugs.
I don’t have never felt sorry for myself, I don’t wallow in self pity, my health issues are very mild compared to lots of others, but you simply cannot control this. I don’t want sympathy replies, I just want to try to explain why sometimes I’m an arse. I’ll help anybody, if you’re stuck in the middle of the night in a broken car I’ll come and pick you up, it’s just this damned thing rears it’s head and takes over at times despite trying to leave things alone. So until I can get straight and be a nice member I’m out, my skin is too thin to be embroiled in arguments. Why not just not post again without this, well as I said, there’s a bitter taste in my mouth and I feel the need to explain myself.
Have a great Xmas, and hopefully I’ll get sorted and catch up at some point.
Recent comments on a sales thread, which I never normally do, have given me the push to call it a day, whilst not rude or offensive I’ve gone further than is acceptable to me. These comments have coincided with a few picky moments which I should not get involved with.
Disclosing personal stuff on a public forum is a choice we make, lots would say not to do it but I can’t leave with a bitter taste in my mouth. For the last proabably 10 yrs or so I’ve been fighting depression, not feeling sorry for myself, proper depression, a chemical imbalance, an illness. I’ve fought it in the usual way, pick yourself up lad and get on with it, but it doesn’t work, last years 8 months of surgery for bits and pieces have worked but the heart op this time last year that went wrong has tipped the scales to an unacceptable level, I’ve got so much worse this year, leading to moments of desperation. Thoughts of a pipe in the car window on the moors we’re getting more and more tempting. Thankfully for my sons sake I’ve realised I can’t carry on and started medication 6 months ago which initially worked very well but the side effects were too awful to carry on with those particular drugs. 5 different lots now and we’re still trying to find the right ones, hopefully we’re getting close. The difference they make is immense. Dramatic? Well, If you haven’t had any experience of real depression you’ll probably be giving me the w***er sign reading this, fair shout. Anybody remember Gary Speed? Top footballer then Leeds Utd manager, loved by the fans, a very fair player on the pitch, oodles of money in the bank, lovely family, hung himself in his grarage. I can relate how he felt, I’m not at his level but it’s creeping up. It’s really not something you can control without drugs.
I don’t have never felt sorry for myself, I don’t wallow in self pity, my health issues are very mild compared to lots of others, but you simply cannot control this. I don’t want sympathy replies, I just want to try to explain why sometimes I’m an arse. I’ll help anybody, if you’re stuck in the middle of the night in a broken car I’ll come and pick you up, it’s just this damned thing rears it’s head and takes over at times despite trying to leave things alone. So until I can get straight and be a nice member I’m out, my skin is too thin to be embroiled in arguments. Why not just not post again without this, well as I said, there’s a bitter taste in my mouth and I feel the need to explain myself.
Have a great Xmas, and hopefully I’ll get sorted and catch up at some point.
if there’s anything I can help with don’t be too proud, catch you soon my friend 
if you accept that certain individuals can easily reach heights of w4nkerness others wouldn't dream of then you are partway to cracking it 
