After what seems a life time phoning my Bank to sort out a replacement for a secure key this morning , i have to have a moan at automated telephone services that send you around in circles pressing this number or that number; you end up being put on hold listening to some droning music and eventually get cramp in your hand!Either that or they ask you to shout your instruction down the mouthpiece only to be told "I'm sorry I didn't get that could you start again.
You get the run around through a dozen automated telephone services just to talk to a bank or service which is just a few miles down the road because you dont have a proper contact number for them in the first place!
I just want to dial a telephone number and speak to someone in the local branch, not some cold voice that doesnt care whether or not I get the service I am after. It's not what I call good customer service at all.
as we all know how annoying it is when you have to follow automated phone services that send you round in circles !!! for Banks, utility bills ect........
i remember someone sent me this a long time ago, alot of you have probably heard or read this, but it put a smile back on my face after this morning
Hello! Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline!
If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly, being certain to touch the table and counting to 10 between each press.
If you are Co-Dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press since no one will answer.
If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 999.
If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are too busy to help worthless people like you.
And thank you for calling the Mental Health Hotline!
