HR work related issue, need some advice please.....

[Marco]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to get some external opinions on an incident at work.

Ill try keep this short and to the point....

First day back at work, I was downstairs at an (external) coffee shop (across from my office on the business park). I was sitting there with two other colleagues, the next minute my manager comes through the doors rather agitated (almost shaking he was so excited) and confronts me right there and then saying that there is a call waiting in the queue. All I replied is that I had literally just got down there, and I was having a coffee break. He continued on about the issue and so I just got up (never said another word) and walked straight out with him following me (continuing to talk) and went straight up to the office. I was going to respond and was quite angry, but I decided the best thing was to say nothing and just leave the place to save any further embarassment.

Now I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of the phone system and covering queues and who should have taken that call, my feelings are that whatever the situation, and whomever was at fault here, his approach to come into a public place and confront me in front of colleagues, friends, people in a coffee shop that I frequent everyday, and strangers is totally un-professional and unacceptable.

When I got into the office I went to the HR lady to tell her the story as I was rather upset, she simply asked "what do you want to happen here" to which I replied I dont know, I need to think about it but I will probably email him directly with my concerns.

So I emailed my manager (copying in the HR person) later that day just saying that his actions were un-professional, embarassing and unacceptable and that in future if he has an issue with me I would please request he does it in private, in a work environment. I was sending this email to let him know how I felt and to give him time to calm down, see his actions were excessive, and make things right by apologising so that we could just move on.

His repsonse the next day however was the total opposite, he told me that if that is my view point then we can no longer have any constructive communication and he suggested I take it up with the Director when she is back and he copied her into the email. A few hours later he called me into a meeting to say that people have differences in the work place, we dont agree on the issue, it will be sorted out one way or another but he hopes that we could still work together professionally. I didnt want to say too much so I just replied that I had been completely professional up until now so I don't see any reason why that would change.

Later that day I replied to his email saying it is a pity he couldn't just acknowledge his behaviour was inappropriate, and move on constructively, instead he chose to escalate to director level. I also said that given this, I have no choice but to escalate to HR formally.

Now two things have got me even more upset about this. The day after the incident I went back to the coffee shop and the lady behind the counter made a joke about me getting into trouble again - so clearly she saw and heard something (and she wasnt even close to where it happened). Secondly, people in my office are starting to talk about it and come to their own conclusions without even knowing the full story - all of this is really embarassing for me. I just think it is unfair that I should be put into this position by a manager.

The latest is that I asked our HR for our formal Grievance Procedure and I am planning on lodging an official complaint about this as it is playing on my mind and stressing me out.

I guess my question is, am I being over-sensitive or am I entitled to be upset over what appears to be an un-provoked, knee-jerk reaction whereby he appears to have lost his cool and stormed out of the office with the sole intention of confronting me in a public place?

Sorry for the rant and for the length of this....believe it or not I did try keep it short! ;-) Thanks everyone.....

 

[ranski]

The unfortunate thing is that other staff (whatever they say to your face) will always side with management

Right or wrong you have got yourself into a corner on this one which may have implications on your progressing within the company

I guess the only question I can think of is does this manager have a known history of 'flip outs'?

 

[inz4ne]

If you were in my team I'd be pissed if you went on a break without arranging to cover your calls - but it wouldn't happen cos all our phones are in a group so someone would pick it up - unless you left the office completely unoccupied. Do you have coffee breaks as part of your employment conditions and does that include choosing when you take them and whether you leave the workplace? Neither would be allowed in my sweat shop. I wouldn't bollock you in public but I might make you aware that I needed to see you back in my office and in doing so show signs of my displeasure that others might observe.

I may be wrong but it sounds like there's fault on both sides and trying to occupy the moral high ground will not get you far. My recommendation would be to go see your boss, say you want to draw a line and move on, recognise that you may not have been a star employee, but say you we're upset by his public berating and hope that in future he will be more considerate of your feelings. He won't be able to wriggle out of that but don't push for an admission if one isn't forthcoming,just politely withdraw ... And guess what you have the moral high ground of being big enough to deal with it and move on.

 

[OwenT]

That's not an easy one!! However, from what you've written it definitely sounds to me that the manager was very out of order - if you're outside of the office environment then he should not approach you in such a way. Stick to your guns, just make it clear the reasons that you feel aggrieved and don't allow yourself to make it personal with him... Good luck!!


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[cj10jeeper]

Sorry to say but you'll never 'win' here. The manager may be agitated and was wrong to handle the situation as he did. That said he will escalate until you get disciplined, fired or have to leave given you took it to HR and started a chain of emails. Your emails were formal communications and hardened his opinion to fight his corner.

Also ask yourself was this isolated or is there some ongoing history that this is just a part of.

Frankly you have to go in sit down and talk to him, clear the air or expect a bumpy ride.

 

[TitanTim]

Personally I would have approached your manager in private to discuss the situation before talking to HR, your then giving him/her and yourself the opportunity to discuss the problem and where you both went wrong. Hopefully this is all thats needed to diffuse the situation and you know where you both stand. Your manager shouldn't make any sort of scene in the workplace or out of it. on the flip side even if you were due a break its curteous to work colleagues and your manager to say your going on a break and if no-one else around to cover for you if needs be then wait until cover can be provided.

As a manager the worst thing you can do is give staff a ticking off in front of other staff, its just unprofessional.

Tim.

 

[RubyBlueZ4MC]

My old boss gave me a bit of advice once when I had a work related issue ..he said "go in to work, smile sweetly, do your job, keep your head down and get on with it because you'll never win against a senior and your stress levels will just go up the more you fight".

I know how difficult work related issues can be, really horrible and can make you feel very low. Hopefully in time things will settle.

 

[ben g]

You seem very fragile of you worry about your work colleagues knowing/talking about what happened.

Where I work, people talk about gossip about one another all the time.

If you can't handle that, then you shouldn't really be allowed in public places :lol:

I do think your manager over reacted,.but thats life, unfortunately.

 

[WLH]

Just as a side note it's good to remember that HR is not there to support the employee but is there to support management...

 

[Stuart Truman]

Marco

As others have said, it sounds like fault on both sides. Without knowing your working T&C's and policies on breaks, disciplinary process, grievance procedure etc nobody can make an informed comment.

As an outsider looking in (and please don't take this the wrong way) your post looks a little evasive around the issue of whether you'd left the phones un-manned. Have you, or others in your team done this before such that your manager was already annoyed and this was a "last straw"?

If you can't sort this out civilly with your manager you're likely to be in a difficult place moving forward. Any further infractions at work are going to be handled formally in the future as you've set a baseline of going formal yourself.

If you can, sit down with your boss, clear the air and try and put it behind you. If you pick a fight in an organisation where you are in the wrong in any way, you'll lose. Sorry to be that blunt, but you don't need anyone telling you that it will all turn out well. What will happen is your boss will be watching and you'll find yourself performance managed out, all by the book.

So clear the air, it's the easiest way forward

Good luck!

 

[Anonymous]

Bosses can be real c*nts, regardless of who is at fault.

 

[Taz]

Bosses can be real c*nts, regardless of who is at fault.

totally agree

 

[slick]

My old boss gave me a bit of advice once when I had a work related issue ..he said "go in to work, smile sweetly, do your job, keep your head down and get on with it because you'll never win against a senior and your stress levels will just go up the more you fight".

I know how difficult work related issues can be, really horrible and can make you feel very low. Hopefully in time things will settle.

Wise words

 

[sars]

I think most of you are missing a fundamental point, why did you have to leave the premises to get a coffee. Does your employer provide facilities for making or purchasing refreshments?

If so having an employee leave the building during working hours (excluding statutory/contracted break times) should be frowned upon without express permission from your line manager.

If your employer does not provide these facilities they cannot really complain that you left.

 

[JaEdBa]

Bosses can be real c*nts, regardless of who is at fault.

totally agree

to be fair a lot of 'bosses' are middle management and caught between a rock and a hard place.

tasked with increasing output, reducing resource, maintaining morale...it's a tricky job.

but yep they can be c*nts..

 

[ronk]

Do you consider you were at fault in any way?

Is there any element of the problem where you can say "maybe i should have /not have" etc?

 

[ab7]

With regards to the issue at hand... few things come to mind:

- Were you at fault leaving the phone unmanned?
- Were you off site on an official break?
- Was it an important call?

Because depending on the answers to those questions he may have been well within his rights to storm over to you.

Personally I would never speak to HR unless I was going ahead with something... people talk, trust me. I left my last job after a long rough ride... not sure why I didn't leave sooner but it was the best thing I ever did.

 

[Marco]

Hey everyone, thanks so much for all the comments, much appreciated. It really helps to get an impartial "outsiders" perspective on things....

 

[IKZ4]

I went through some stressful work stuff last year resulting in what I consider to be an unfair redundancy. I spoke to an external HR lawyer at the time and one quote that will stay with me forever is that 'there's no law against having a crap boss'. They can treat you badly but when it comes down to it an employee has very little actual protection, providing the employer is paying you on time and paying your taxes over. Remember, HR are there to help the company achieve it's objectives (not yours).

Even if you defend yourself because you believe that you have done no wrong, it can still come back to haunt you later, either in that company or even if you move on elsewhere. I know that sounds defeatest and spineless, but you need to look after yourself and do everything to ensure that you personally come out of this in the best possible position, whether that be to retain your job whilst looking for something else, smoothing things over getting on with things, or getting a compromise payment. Best of luck.