Here's the timeline.....
Honest!
May 2016
SNP Elected to Holyrood with increased Majority.
June 2016
EU Referendum results
England Out
Scotland In - Daily Mail outraged
Welsh In - Daily Mail outraged
Northern Ireland In - Daily Mail outraged
UK votes to leave the EU due to English voting to leave.
August / September 2016
Cameron the pig fucker stands down
General Election and new Tory Reich elected with Bawjaws Johnson as the head pig at the trough.
Smart Uniforms issued to all Cabinet Ministers. Sponsored by Daily Mail.
All human rights removed.
All workers rights removed.
All Benefits reduced
Zero Hours Contracts become compulsory immediately.
Insurance based NHS introduced
Unions banned
National Service for everyone not working no matter the age
All foreign owned land and buildings in England seized by the state
Daily Mail funded Camps set up for the final solution of immigrants and non 5th generation English nationals.
Spanish blockade of Gibraltar begins. Daily Mail outraged
December 2016
Trump wins in the US.
Spanish blockade of Gibraltar continues.
May 2017
SNP win control of every council in Scotland. Daily Mail outraged.
Labour, Lib Dems and Tories wiped out in Scotland. Daily Mail outraged
Snap 2nd Independence Referendum announced. Daily Mail outraged.
June 2017
2nd and final Scottish Referendum.
Independence declared immediately after last result is announced. Daily Mail outraged
Scotland leaves the UK and welcomed by EU immediately. Daily Mail outraged
All Scottish MP's resign with immediate effect from Westminster.
Nicola Sturgeon asks Boris where he wants the Yank nukes parked? 5 years to get them out of Scotland and storage costs charged in line with any debt owed by Scotland. Daily Mail outraged
Banks, Oil Companies and big companies start moving head offices to Edinburgh and Aberdeen leaving skeleton staff in London.
Alex Salmond challenges David Cameron and Boris to a televised square go hosted by Ant and Dec.
Salmond wins with a one puch knockout of Boris and makes Cameron cry like a girl. Salmond now more popular with English people becomes talk show regular.
Spanish blockade of Gibraltar continues. Daily Mail outraged
May 2018
Welsh finally find a voice and kick out Labour for good in favour of Plaid Cymru before a referendum on leaving the remainder of the UK.
Plaid Cymru leave and join EU.
Banks and Oil Companies continue to move Head Offices to Edinburgh and Aberdeen. Tax receipts from companies involved drastically reduced.
Income Tax increased to 30% in England to cover sudden drop in income.
Spanish blockade of Gibraltar continues. Daily Mail outraged
April 2019
Ireland unified though the Civil War continues so nothing really changed.
Last Bank and Oil Company moves head office to Scotland.
Income Tax increased to 35% in England.
In England Union Jack Tattoos become compulsory along with your unique identity number and unique barcode along with RFID tag.
Spanish blockade of Gibraltar continues. Daily Mail outraged
March 2020
Betty the German of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha pops her clogs.
Spanish blockade of Gibraltar suspended in respect of her passing. Daily Mail outraged
Charlie passes the crown to Wullie after a drunken night out on the piss.
England has 3 days of mourning followed by three days of celebration with military enforced street parties and lots of flag waving. Hurrah!
Income Tax increased to 40% in England.
June 2022
Both Labour and Lib Dem parties outlawed.
Last two Labour and Lib Dem MP's escorted from Westminster at gunpoint and taken to Daily Mail sponsored "Camp" on the Isle of Wight.
UKIP, EDL and BNP become official opposition to the Tory Reich although can never win a majority due to boundary changes and number of seats they can contest.
Talks continue on how England can actually leave Europe as it's now been 6 years and nothing has changed. Daily Mail outraged
English people become restless and start to ask questions. Daily Mail outraged
An English Resistance is set up to help with the starving in the streets. Aided by the French Resistance they manage to smuggle out the last 4 Socialists in England.
House of Lords becomes a Care Home paid for by the English Tax Payer. Now extended to house 4000 Lords and Ladies. Smell of urine overwhelming.
Curfew introduced across England.
Income tax increased to 50% in England
Gibraltar given back to Spanish. No mention on the BBC.
Argentina blockade of Falklands begins. Daily Mail Outraged
2023
Talks on leaving Europe break down again. Daily Mail outraged
English Civil War breaks out due to the 27.3 Trillion debt inflicted by the Tory Reich, collapse of all financial systems in England, foodbanks start charging a membership fee, final doctor leaves the NHS in England to join private health hospital, riots in the streets, collapse of the housing market and income tax at 60% in England.
Chelsea play Man Utd in the final of the UK Cup. Similar to the European Cup but not in Europe so it's now like the FA Cup rerun contested by the last 8 teams sponsored by SKY sports.
New Prince born.
BBC TV Tax increased to £1000 per device.
Argentina blockade of Falklands ends with Argentina winning Falklands in game of poker. Daily Mail Outraged
2026
Talks on leaving Europe continue.
Scotland Win World Cup. Daily Mail spontaneously combusts.
2035
JE gets a date of March 2042 for the Turbo install. Just in time for summer!
Cynical? No. It's all fucked!