Dialogue from your day

[techathy]

Any funny, random, strange or other wise interesting dialogue from your day? Why not post it here for other people to enjoy.

I walk into the room in a full length leather trench coat
Colleague (that looks like he took a shower in his clothes): Hello Mr. Matrix extra.
Me: Hello Mr. Drowned Rat
Colleague: F**k off!

 

[stevo///m3]

Posted this on Facebook yesterday:

"Items priced at £18.10 at the local shop. Me: hands over £20 note. Him: starts sorting change. Me: oh, I might have 10p. Him: sorry, I've opened the till now.
The ancient arts of being able to count and do mental arithmetic are dying out, along with reading and being able to spell. I feel so alone."

Stevo

 

[mr.tourette]

Gobby little s**t at the school gates this morning, someone says "I bet his parents have a drink midweek" I did giggle

 

[stuartC]

Telephone rings.

Me: "Hello Stuart Clennett speaking"
Them: "Can I speak to Stuart Clennett please".

Every. Firking. Time.

 

[Nictrix]

Pupil came to my office who had obviously lost something.
"Have you got a black wallet?" He says.
"Yes" I replied, and shut the door on his confused face.

Kids dont understand when you play them at their own game, or sarcasm, or a lot of other things.

 

[bluespit]

Me in hospital telling mum about David Bowie.

Mum. 'Wasn't he Jason Stardust?'

 

[MrPT]

Pupil came to my office who had obviously lost something.
"Have you got a black wallet?" He says.
"Yes" I replied, and shut the door on his confused face.

Harsh.

 

[Nictrix]

Pupil came to my office who had obviously lost something.
"Have you got a black wallet?" He says.
"Yes" I replied, and shut the door on his confused face.

Harsh.

It wasnt always like that, I used to be caring and considerate but day after day of stupid kids losing their stuff and thinking it will magically turn up in my office wears you down until you just have to have a bit of fun with it.

I did open the door again and he was still confused looking.

Had a young girl chap my office door and ask if her bag was there.
I asked when did she lose it and she said "I had it a couple of minutes ago"!!
WHAT

 

[MrPT]

Pupil came to my office who had obviously lost something.
"Have you got a black wallet?" He says.
"Yes" I replied, and shut the door on his confused face.

Harsh.

It wasnt always like that, I used to be caring and considerate but day after day of stupid kids losing their stuff and thinking it will magically turn up in my office wears you down until you just have to have a bit of fun with it.

I did open the door again and he was still confused looking.

Had a young girl chap my office door and ask if her bag was there.
I asked when did she lose it and she said "I had it a couple of minutes ago"!!
WHAT

Hah! It's only since I've heard stories from mates who are now teachers that I've realised how often my teachers must have had a laugh at my expense. Not in a bad way - just as a coping strategy! Hats off to the lot of you, I say...

 

[Nictrix]

Harsh.

It wasnt always like that, I used to be caring and considerate but day after day of stupid kids losing their stuff and thinking it will magically turn up in my office wears you down until you just have to have a bit of fun with it.

I did open the door again and he was still confused looking.

Had a young girl chap my office door and ask if her bag was there.
I asked when did she lose it and she said "I had it a couple of minutes ago"!!
WHAT

Hah! It's only since I've heard stories from mates who are now teachers that I've realised how often my teachers must have had a laugh at my expense. Not in a bad way - just as a coping strategy! Hats off to the lot of you, I say...

Thankfully I am not a teacher, I couldnt deal with them every hour of every day.
I am a janitor.

 

[techathy]

Items priced at £18.10 at the local shop. Me: hands over £20 note. Him: starts sorting change. Me: oh, I might have 10p. Him: sorry, I've opened the till now.

Had a chat with a friend about this, he works as the till manager at a local supermarket. The tills they use keep a track of all the coins & notes that are in the till you must enter in the till what notes & coins you receive plus give out the change that the till tells you even if that means giving someone 5x 20p pieces instead of a pound coin. :roll:

 

[MrPT]

Thankfully I am not a teacher, I couldnt deal with them every hour of every day.
I am a janitor.

Even better. Then you can pretend to be "their friend", but take the p!ss with non of the downsides.

 

[stevo///m3]

Items priced at £18.10 at the local shop. Me: hands over £20 note. Him: starts sorting change. Me: oh, I might have 10p. Him: sorry, I've opened the till now.

Had a chat with a friend about this, he works as the till manager at a local supermarket. The tills they use keep a track of all the coins & notes that are in the till you must enter in the till what notes & coins you receive plus give out the change that the till tells you even if that means giving someone 5x 20p pieces instead of a pound coin. :roll:

OK if this is a thing then fine - not that I can see any advantage to it at all and I don't think I've ever witnessed such a till in action - must be a massive faff... Surely the important thing is that you end up with the right coin amount in the till at the end of the day's work? Either way, perhaps its just me - I like giving more change where it is possible to reduce the number and weight of coins returned to you - makes the wallet last longer...
Stevo

 

[buzyg]

Items priced at £18.10 at the local shop. Me: hands over £20 note. Him: starts sorting change. Me: oh, I might have 10p. Him: sorry, I've opened the till now.

Had a chat with a friend about this, he works as the till manager at a local supermarket. The tills they use keep a track of all the coins & notes that are in the till you must enter in the till what notes & coins you receive plus give out the change that the till tells you even if that means giving someone 5x 20p pieces instead of a pound coin. :roll:

OK if this is a thing then fine - not that I can see any advantage to it at all and I don't think I've ever witnessed such a till in action - must be a massive faff... Surely the important thing is that you end up with the right coin amount in the till at the end of the day's work? Either way, perhaps its just me - I like giving more change where it is possible to reduce the number and weight of coins returned to you - makes the wallet last longer...
Stevo

The advantage for the store is the till, should run out of coins less often and the float is managed better. Can see how that is counter intuitive, as you wanted to give him the 10p and therefore keep 90p of change in the till, but alas the till operators are simply following a process.

 

[Jasey]

Doing a software update for one of our clients that involves doing an update to the main system and to another system on a separate laptop.

There was an issue with the laptop and the client gave us more info than we are used to.

"The thieving gypsy w@nkers have nicked it"