A rant about nasty people

[Pants]

Revenge... ...is a dish best served cold.

I couldn't agree more with your feeling towards this, I can not stand obnoxious people - usually those who just need to unload their frustration on anyone.

<long anectode about near crash that I wrote but is actually boring>
...obnoxious people really ruin my day. :x

Calm, calculated revenge that drives someone slowly insane is wonderful.
Anything you can do that is NOT traceable and does NOT cause actual damage, but annoys and infuriates is wonderful.

I went to an all boys' school in the middle of nowhere - the last two years, when we were all driving, school just became about screwing with each others' cars in a way that couldn't get us into trouble.

A selection of favourites:

- Annonymous fake accident note, "I'm sorry I hit your car, please call to discuss the insurance details - my number is xxxx"
- 'For Sale' sign on car, with bargain price and her phone number
- Autotrader sale of car
- Condom over exhaust pipe (hilarious, looks like an elephant's c0ck after a few minutes, then big bang!)
- Cling film over windscreen ONLY (done very cleanly so invisible, wipers go mental when you put them on)
- Make copy of her reg plates and leave them in a dodgy area so someone picks them up and 'uses' them
- Fake mail drop to local petrol stations 'this reg car is filling up and leaving', do not serve
- Tiny confetti into air vents
- Egg white into air vents (dries almost invisible)
- Innapropriate bumper sticker ["Jimmy Saville - doing it for the kids!", "Jim Fix'd me!"]
- Angle washer jets left, towards pavement (will hit pedestrians/cyclists)
- Cut hole through a potato and fit a whistle in there, insert potato into exhaust...
- Small baloons stuck to top of tyre under wheel arch, go bang when drive off
- Glue a stone to tread of each tyre
- Handful of small stones inside the wheel (behind alloy facia)
- Breadcrumbs all around car, sounds subtle, but car will be swamped with birds and bird crap in an hour

If she thinks any of this was you, she will unlikely be subtle - if she acts vindictively and damages your car, it's police time!

Si

8)

BEST POST EVER !!!!

 

[Taz]

i would just think your a better person and turn away

 

[Stuart Truman]

Personally I agree, but then I didn't realise filling a water-pistol with naga chilli oil & water was classed as a firearms offence until I was given a dressing down by the local plod

Plod was putting the shits up you but wouldn't have a leg to stand on

From the CPS...

Definitions of Firearms and Air Weapons
A firearm is "a lethal barrelled weapon of any description from which any shot, bullet or other missile can be discharged" (section 57 (1) Firearms Act 1968)

"from which any shot, bullet or other missile can be discharged" has to be capable of discharging a missile either in its present state or with adaptation. To prove that a weapon is a firearm, it is essential to call evidence as to whether a bullet or missile can be discharged from the weapon or which can be adapted to discharge any missile

So unless your water pistol was a nuclear powered super soaker capable of projecting a slug of water fast enough to kill someone, I suspect plod was chancing his or her arm

Now back to the purely theoretical revenge plots :lol:

 

[Dean]

I like the whistle up the exhaust one lol!

 

[Stuart Truman]

A squeaker from one of those party blower things tucked into the grill is good. Does nothing until enough speed is built up...

 

[mmm-five]

Plod was putting the shits up you but wouldn't have a leg to stand on

That's also what I thought at the time, but I was quoted section 5(1)(b) of the Firearms Act, which prohibited the posession/use of 'devices modified or adapted to expel a noxious substance' - which my chilli oil soaker would have been classed as, and being a smart arse I checked it out, and found it to be true.

The plod wasn't nasty or anything with it, he simply pointed out that if someone complained then they'd have to take. More serious line.

It was a good few years ago, so amendments to that act might be in force which negate the issue, and I've since handled much more lethal firearms