A rant about nasty people

PaulG said:
Loosen the valve stems in her tyres. Don't remove them as that would be theft, but 4 flats would be a serious inconvenience.
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An alternative is to jack her car up & place blocks under the suspension so it 'looks' like the wheels are touching the ground but just spin when she puts it in drive... sit back & wait until she tries to drive off (add some smelly poo under the tyres if ur feeling really nasty)

Remember to post the video as she tries to work out what is happening... will be so funny when the RAC/AA turn up...

You're probably not old enough to remember the film Porkies where they chained the rear axle of a police car to a post... though that would be criminal damage.

Enjoy...
 
Jembo said:
You're probably not old enough to remember the film Porkies where they chained the rear axle of a police car to a post... though that would be criminal damage.
Enjoy...
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I remember Porkies, but how many cars these days have a rear axle ?
 
The calm and polite approach works best, no question. Dropping to her level just starts a war of attrition. If she's nasty and vindictive and into publicity it might have a negative impact on your business. Let it go, the smile and the wave approach will probably wind her up more than a row will.
 
I am old enough to remember Porkies. Was that not the film that gave birth to the term "tally whacker"?
 
Another vote for smile and wave, and not lowering yourself to their level. The less reaction they get, the more irate it makes them. If you get involved in a shouting swearing match then it affects you for the rest of the day, in which case I'm afraid in this situation she's done so she's kind off won. She's vented her anger and you've taken it on and haven't been as happy as you otherwise were.
 
cj_eds said:
Another vote for smile and wave, and not lowering yourself to their level. The less reaction they get, the more irate it makes them. If you get involved in a shouting swearing match then it affects you for the rest of the day, in which case I'm afraid in this situation she's done so she's kind off won. She's vented her anger and you've taken it on and haven't been as happy as you otherwise were.
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How about blow her a kiss, smile & wave...
 
cj_eds said:
Another vote for smile and wave, and not lowering yourself to their level. The less reaction they get, the more irate it makes them. If you get involved in a shouting swearing match then it affects you for the rest of the day, in which case I'm afraid in this situation she's done so she's kind off won. She's vented her anger and you've taken it on and haven't been as happy as you otherwise were.
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She may have won this battle. But the war has just begun my friend. :evil:
 
Jembo said:
cj_eds said:
Another vote for smile and wave, and not lowering yourself to their level. The less reaction they get, the more irate it makes them. If you get involved in a shouting swearing match then it affects you for the rest of the day, in which case I'm afraid in this situation she's done so she's kind off won. She's vented her anger and you've taken it on and haven't been as happy as you otherwise were.
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How about blow her a kiss, smile & wave...
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Nah, that's what you do to another BLOKE to wind them up in similar circumstances...

(some women could take a smile and wave the wrong way :roll:)

One word Mowflow: Weegies :P
 
It amazes me how raged up some people get, usually I find people chill out with age, but I suppose there's always the exception to the rule :thumbsdown:
 
Since she the spiteful type i would think twice about revenge incase she scratches you much nicer car.

There is almost always something else going on i find perhaps problems at home or work. maybe you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time and got vented on.

i say stiff upper lip and carry on
 
Poo is funny, but washable. Having had a quick think about this, I reckon indelible ink of some kind on the inside of the handle would be good, if you could find some that will stay tacky. That'll ruin her day :D

Would also ruin the car though...

I once had my house egged at Halloween (I hate Halloween), and the little buggers got some on the windscreen of my car... As a consequence some got in the air vent inlets. I didn't realise at first - took enough effort to get it off the window in the first place - started stinking, took aaaaages to figure out what it was then clean it out. Stank for weeks. A rotten egg in the air vents would be my recommendation :evil:
 
Revenge... ...is a dish best served cold.

I couldn't agree more with your feeling towards this, I can not stand obnoxious people - usually those who just need to unload their frustration on anyone.

<long anectode about near crash that I wrote but is actually boring>
...obnoxious people really ruin my day. :x

Calm, calculated revenge that drives someone slowly insane is wonderful.
Anything you can do that is NOT traceable and does NOT cause actual damage, but annoys and infuriates is wonderful.

I went to an all boys' school in the middle of nowhere - the last two years, when we were all driving, school just became about screwing with each others' cars in a way that couldn't get us into trouble.

A selection of favourites:

- Annonymous fake accident note, "I'm sorry I hit your car, please call to discuss the insurance details - my number is xxxx"
- 'For Sale' sign on car, with bargain price and her phone number
- Autotrader sale of car
- Condom over exhaust pipe (hilarious, looks like an elephant's c0ck after a few minutes, then big bang!)
- Cling film over windscreen ONLY (done very cleanly so invisible, wipers go mental when you put them on)
- Make copy of her reg plates and leave them in a dodgy area so someone picks them up and 'uses' them
- Fake mail drop to local petrol stations 'this reg car is filling up and leaving', do not serve
- Tiny confetti into air vents
- Egg white into air vents (dries almost invisible)
- Innapropriate bumper sticker ["Jimmy Saville - doing it for the kids!", "Jim Fix'd me!"]
- Angle washer jets left, towards pavement (will hit pedestrians/cyclists)
- Cut hole through a potato and fit a whistle in there, insert potato into exhaust...
- Small baloons stuck to top of tyre under wheel arch, go bang when drive off
- Glue a stone to tread of each tyre
- Handful of small stones inside the wheel (behind alloy facia)
- Breadcrumbs all around car, sounds subtle, but car will be swamped with birds and bird crap in an hour

If she thinks any of this was you, she will unlikely be subtle - if she acts vindictively and damages your car, it's police time!

Si

8)
 
Psy said:
Calm, calculated revenge that drives someone slowly insane is wonderful.
Anything you can do that is NOT traceable and does NOT cause actual damage, but annoys and infuriates is wonderful.
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Unfortunately your definition of 'harm' is not the same as the legal definition, and anything that could cause annoyance, distress, or harassment could be classed as 'harm'.

What if an old dear has a stroke/heart attack after one of these 'harmless' stunts :fuelfire:
 
mmm-five said:
Psy said:
Calm, calculated revenge that drives someone slowly insane is wonderful.
Anything you can do that is NOT traceable and does NOT cause actual damage, but annoys and infuriates is wonderful.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately your definition of 'harm' is not the same as the legal definition, and anything that could cause annoyance, distress, or harassment could be classed as 'harm'.

What if an old dear has a stroke/heart attack after one of these 'harmless' stunts :fuelfire:
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Never said anything about harm... ...though of course I should perhaps disclaim; all proposed actions listed in the above post should be taken with caution and are for 'entertainment' purposes only. None of the above recommended actions should be carried out as all are potentially fatal. I accept no responsibility for any harm, damage, ill feeling or hilarious consequences that may take place as a result of the above comments. Any reader who does carry out any of those actions does so completely at their own risk and the author can not be held responsible for the consequences caused thereby. The person who proposed those actions is an idiot who should not be taken seriously by anyone... ...at all.

:spy:
 
Psy said:
Revenge... ...is a dish best served cold.

I couldn't agree more with your feeling towards this, I can not stand obnoxious people - usually those who just need to unload their frustration on anyone.

<long anectode about near crash that I wrote but is actually boring>
...obnoxious people really ruin my day. :x

Calm, calculated revenge that drives someone slowly insane is wonderful.
Anything you can do that is NOT traceable and does NOT cause actual damage, but annoys and infuriates is wonderful.

I went to an all boys' school in the middle of nowhere - the last two years, when we were all driving, school just became about screwing with each others' cars in a way that couldn't get us into trouble.

A selection of favourites:

- Annonymous fake accident note, "I'm sorry I hit your car, please call to discuss the insurance details - my number is xxxx"
- 'For Sale' sign on car, with bargain price and her phone number
- Autotrader sale of car
- Condom over exhaust pipe (hilarious, looks like an elephant's c0ck after a few minutes, then big bang!)
- Cling film over windscreen ONLY (done very cleanly so invisible, wipers go mental when you put them on)
- Make copy of her reg plates and leave them in a dodgy area so someone picks them up and 'uses' them
- Fake mail drop to local petrol stations 'this reg car is filling up and leaving', do not serve
- Tiny confetti into air vents
- Egg white into air vents (dries almost invisible)
- Innapropriate bumper sticker ["Jimmy Saville - doing it for the kids!", "Jim Fix'd me!"]
- Angle washer jets left, towards pavement (will hit pedestrians/cyclists)
- Cut hole through a potato and fit a whistle in there, insert potato into exhaust...
- Small baloons stuck to top of tyre under wheel arch, go bang when drive off
- Glue a stone to tread of each tyre
- Handful of small stones inside the wheel (behind alloy facia)
- Breadcrumbs all around car, sounds subtle, but car will be swamped with birds and bird crap in an hour

If she thinks any of this was you, she will unlikely be subtle - if she acts vindictively and damages your car, it's police time!

Si

8)
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Some brilliant suggestions.

I'm going to leave it a week or two so there is no way she suspects it's me. Doubt she would anyway as she probably goes through her day pissing off so many people that revenge could come from any direction.

I'm not worried about her doing anything to my car in return. I drive a POS to work at the moment and if she doesn't even recognise my car or my face after 6 years I doubt she's suddenly about to start. I don't plan on damaging her car or causing harm, just mess with her a little bit and ruin her day a couple of times. It would be good to just do some things that seem like act of god karma type things as it might make her think "why me?"

In terms of just not parking in her way. I parked slightly behind her for 15 minutes once in the 6 years that I've been here and I get dogs abuse for it. Not like I block her every day or even once before in 6 years. The guys across the road from us frequently park their van in our car park briefly while they load/unload and move cars around. I never give them abuse, usually just the odd nod or wave of acknowledgement. Not this prune faced old hound.
 
Psy said:
Never said anything about harm... ...though of course I should perhaps disclaim; all proposed actions listed in the above post should be taken with caution and are for 'entertainment' purposes only. None of the above recommended actions should be carried out as all are potentially fatal. I accept no responsibility for any harm, damage, ill feeling or hilarious consequences that may take place as a result of the above comments. Any reader who does carry out any of those actions does so completely at their own risk and the author can not be held responsible for the consequences caused thereby. The person who proposed those actions is an idiot who should not be taken seriously by anyone... ...at all.
:spy:
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My point was that what you call 'no actual damage' may not be seen that way by the 'victim' or police/courts/Joe Public.

Personally I agree, but then I didn't realise filling a water-pistol with naga chilli oil & water was classed as a firearms offence until I was given a dressing down by the local plod :oops:
 
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