Help! Electrics gone haywire.

[G29Z4]

Yesterday I got the car out ready to use. When I came back to it about an hour later the battery was stone dead, so dead I couldn’t get in the boot to get my keys for the house. But I did hear a clonk noise which might have been coming from the header rail. Using a spare set, I went in the garage and connected a charger. It faulted saying the battery was below 4v.
I tried to jump it from another car, no luck. The AA came 3h later and it started immediately from their van battery. He checked my battery and pronounced it good, it was taking a 70amp charge no problem. He then suggested leaving it to idle for a good while or taking it for a drive, which I did. As I drove off the drive a loud bong alerted me to the warning “Emergency Call Function Failure”. Then I noticed the speed sign recognition wasn’t working, then the satnav/map which placed the car miles from where it was and didn’t move with the car. Then the Wi-Fi didn’t work, which affected a number of things, and lastly the stop/start, although this is back working today.
I left the car on charge all night, but it showed fully charged-the problems listed above remain.
Any ideas!
Strangely something similar happened about two years ago, but without so many collateral errors.
Suggestions please.

[Nanu]

Only suggestion is take it to your nearest dealer or Indy for a full diagnostic

[dr_john]

I had an issue a year or so back where my car refused to unlock with the key fob, it just gave a weak clunk, the interior lights came on, but it stayed locked.

Luckily I was at home with the car garaged. Eventually I opened it by using the phone app, which worked perfectly, no problems since.