Apologies for the length mate, get some popcorn
Yeah you Read your cars ECU settings and save the file to your laptop (with the new E Flash system) whereas before you'd have a handheld flash device. The E Flash gives you much more diagnostics abilities, so you can not only read but also clear any fault codes. Plus the system can receive updates from ESS and effectively grow with your cars setup.
Regarding the ECU update I would honestly drop the guys at ESS an email as I havnt had this experience myself and wouldnt want to give you any missleading advice. I have my car covered under an extended BMW service package but choose to take my car to my mate who is an independent specialist an ex BMW trained technician and general oracle on BMW, he even race prepares BMW's, lambos, ferraris etc

. He's a has all the main dealer diagnostic equipment and more :wink: so I leave it in his trusted hands lol
ESS does vin lock to your car so I would assume the write process would fingerprint the ECU package even when an update is applied so you could simply re apply your map. But as I mentioned it's a question for ESS.
Overboost again I'm not sure about as I have the 35i flavour. Although with the ESS maps the performance variance between 35i and IS is negligible according to reports from ESS, presumably because the IS is a lightly tuned version of the stock 35i.
For the suspension question it's a tricky one and I speak only from my experience and opinion so here goes. People that say Don't touch BMW suspension don't know what there talking about. It's not perfect out of the box not even M suspension although it is significantly better than standard SE/M Sport stuff. I felt my E89 'wollowed' and dipped quite a lot in the corners what with the weight of the roof, so under advice went with the Eibach Pro Kit. A relatively in-expensive upgrade and not as extreme as coils but making what I feel is a noticable improvement to the handling characteristics especially under higher speed cornering, due to the progressive dampening. The car feels flatter and is able to handle the increased acceleration the tunes provide without rocking out of the bends and generally making you feel like you going over the top of the next hedge
If you need any parts numbers or contacts feel free to drop me a PM.