So sorry on your loss Greg.
I lost my mum at 84 week before Christmas 2014, came completely out of the blue. Mum lived with me and I looked after her in between work. Strangely enough the day she fell ilI I took the day off work to cook her nice meal and to just have a nice day with her. 5 days later mum passed away. Although she was my mum she was also my best friend in life and I found it very hard to accept the loss at first to the point I convinced myself she had just gone on holiday and would be back. I didn't allow myself to grieve and kept busy, something when looking back I regret now as it was almost like denial and the guilt feeling of not bereaving overtook me. I felt almost selfish. It wasn't until some 8 months later the grief overwhelmed me. The key is to talk to friends and family and share your feelings, I did go to see a bereavement councillor which helped enormously who taught me it's normal to feel the way I did, it can take time to come to terms with a loss, in many ways there is no time limit for grieving. I focus on my happy memories of these days and accept she is in a happy place but also she is still there in my life. End of the day I know she would want me to be happy.
Christmas time is still very hard but it does get better with time. For me personally I keep some of my mum's favourite things together in one place with photos and when I have times I wished she was around they provide some comfort, it's just my way staying close to her.
All the best to you,
Tim.
I lost my mum at 84 week before Christmas 2014, came completely out of the blue. Mum lived with me and I looked after her in between work. Strangely enough the day she fell ilI I took the day off work to cook her nice meal and to just have a nice day with her. 5 days later mum passed away. Although she was my mum she was also my best friend in life and I found it very hard to accept the loss at first to the point I convinced myself she had just gone on holiday and would be back. I didn't allow myself to grieve and kept busy, something when looking back I regret now as it was almost like denial and the guilt feeling of not bereaving overtook me. I felt almost selfish. It wasn't until some 8 months later the grief overwhelmed me. The key is to talk to friends and family and share your feelings, I did go to see a bereavement councillor which helped enormously who taught me it's normal to feel the way I did, it can take time to come to terms with a loss, in many ways there is no time limit for grieving. I focus on my happy memories of these days and accept she is in a happy place but also she is still there in my life. End of the day I know she would want me to be happy.
Christmas time is still very hard but it does get better with time. For me personally I keep some of my mum's favourite things together in one place with photos and when I have times I wished she was around they provide some comfort, it's just my way staying close to her.
All the best to you,
Tim.
A
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Thanks all.
It's a funny one. I feel bad for not feeling worse as I'm coping pretty well today I think though that because my mum's been ill for a while that I started grieving when we found out she was terminal.
Oh and don't know, I'm drunk and feeling fine
It's a funny one. I feel bad for not feeling worse as I'm coping pretty well today I think though that because my mum's been ill for a while that I started grieving when we found out she was terminal.
Oh and don't know, I'm drunk and feeling fine
So sorry for your loss I lost my dad a while back now and it hurt but as said above it gets better that feeling in your stomach will go away.
Having your family around will help you move on it did me being single I had no one to turn to but my nieces and nephews (who were just kids at the time) being around helped as they are the future of the family and make you smile.
Having your family around will help you move on it did me being single I had no one to turn to but my nieces and nephews (who were just kids at the time) being around helped as they are the future of the family and make you smile.
Very Sorry for your loss, horrible time. I lost my dad a month ago and I'm still trying to work it out. Made it harder that he went not long after the year anniversary of my grand and he was buried a day before fathers day and a week before what would have been his 63rd
I don't think you ever really get over it, you just get to a point where the joy of their memory is as powerful as the pain of their absence and use that to focus on building new memories in their honour.
I put a mini tribute to dad in my shop for me to smile at and in a wierd way, it makes it feel like his still a part of what he loved being around cars etc. Whatever works but do try and smile, I think that's half the battle. Having my daughter around really helps as It makes me want to form as many good memories with her as I had of him.
It's funny, I'm not one to rush to jump to supernatural conclusions but my daughter waved bye to the corner of the room for the few weeks following his death, and she lives here in Australia, only met him once. But all little things that make me smile and wonder what if..
Stay strong
I don't think you ever really get over it, you just get to a point where the joy of their memory is as powerful as the pain of their absence and use that to focus on building new memories in their honour.
I put a mini tribute to dad in my shop for me to smile at and in a wierd way, it makes it feel like his still a part of what he loved being around cars etc. Whatever works but do try and smile, I think that's half the battle. Having my daughter around really helps as It makes me want to form as many good memories with her as I had of him.
It's funny, I'm not one to rush to jump to supernatural conclusions but my daughter waved bye to the corner of the room for the few weeks following his death, and she lives here in Australia, only met him once. But all little things that make me smile and wonder what if..
Stay strong
Very sorry to hear that.
I think losing parents is hard on many. For most, they're the one constant in life that's always been there - through school years issues, getting to grasps with work, first car, wedding, first house and all that sort of stuff. They're the people who will always have your back, no matter how you've treated them. I miss mine (and still find it odd to realise I'm an orphan!) and it wasn't until my dad went 14 years ago that I realised he'd become a damned good friend and not just a parent. He loved his cars and would be chuffed to see both me and his grandson in our zeds - wish I could show him.
So enjoy your memories, and make sure that in time your kids will have even better ones of you.
I think losing parents is hard on many. For most, they're the one constant in life that's always been there - through school years issues, getting to grasps with work, first car, wedding, first house and all that sort of stuff. They're the people who will always have your back, no matter how you've treated them. I miss mine (and still find it odd to realise I'm an orphan!) and it wasn't until my dad went 14 years ago that I realised he'd become a damned good friend and not just a parent. He loved his cars and would be chuffed to see both me and his grandson in our zeds - wish I could show him.
So enjoy your memories, and make sure that in time your kids will have even better ones of you.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I lost my dad in 2014 after a very short illness. Thought he'd live forever. My mum developed dementia around the same time and is in a home now in a very frail state. We had to have the DNR discussion recently for the staff and that was so hard. Always closer to my mum so cant imagine it when shes gone
I lost my dad in 2014 after a very short illness. Thought he'd live forever. My mum developed dementia around the same time and is in a home now in a very frail state. We had to have the DNR discussion recently for the staff and that was so hard. Always closer to my mum so cant imagine it when shes gone
Its an awful time and sorry for your loss. I lost my old man, before he got to being an old man at the age of 44 years of age. I was only 21 and the 6 weeks we had from diagnosis to him parting was never long enough to absorb the enormity of him not being with us any more. Even to this day , 28 years later , I still struggle at times to having to accept the 'head ' of the family , as his passing was far too young. Getting passed 44 years old for me was a tough time also, in a life way. But you don't accept , you move on in a way and try to refocus on the times you had with him. Recently my sister put some photos up on facebook and my wife showed me them and they my sis and me just text each other memories and making us both laugh out, but we couldnt talk on the phone as too awkward to keep it together.
There was plenty of wishes , of seeing his children getting married and also grand children , which he would have been a fab grandad, but wasnt meant to be in life. I guess it then just pushes you further into extra hugs with your own family and realisation on how important your family and friends are.
Mum is fit and well and now in here 70's . She isnt local but local to my sister , but we do speak every week. Life does go on and you have to heal the wounds as well as you can , to focus more on future life , however impossible it currently may be.
Stay strong
There was plenty of wishes , of seeing his children getting married and also grand children , which he would have been a fab grandad, but wasnt meant to be in life. I guess it then just pushes you further into extra hugs with your own family and realisation on how important your family and friends are.
Mum is fit and well and now in here 70's . She isnt local but local to my sister , but we do speak every week. Life does go on and you have to heal the wounds as well as you can , to focus more on future life , however impossible it currently may be.
Stay strong
