Liverpool sign Ukrainian striker.

Scubaregs · Post by **Scubaregs** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 1:37 pm

He calls home all excited after his debut, "Guess what mum" he says, "We beat Manchester united 3 nil away and I got a hat trick!"

"Well done son" says his mum, "Unfortunately though we have some bad news here, the house has been bombed, the ruins robbed of everything of value, your sister gang raped and your brothers and father killed trying to protect her."

"It's all your fault too" she says.

"OMG, but how is it my fault?" he asks.

"Well" she replies, "You’re the idiot that brought us to live in Liverpool."

enuff_zed · Post by **enuff_zed** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 1:41 pm

Brilliant! No doubt you'll be castigated for reinforcing stereotypes, but still very funny.

Scubaregs · Post by **Scubaregs** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 1:51 pm

Can be changed to suit any town or city mate.

Post by **sp3ctre** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 2:00 pm

Scubaregs wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 1:51 pm Can be changed to suit any town or city mate.

Not quite the same if you substitute "Bath" or "Windsor" lol

IRD · Post by **IRD** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:03 pm

Got some friends from Liverpool. But daren’t send this. They would never speak tome again.

Chris_D · Post by **Chris_D** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:11 pm

I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Scubaregs · Post by **Scubaregs** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:20 pm

Chris_D wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:11 pm I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

sars · Post by **sars** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:06 pm

Scubaregs wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:20 pm
Chris_D wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:11 pm I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work Scubaregs,

Scubaregs · Post by **Scubaregs** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:22 pm

sars, Wilco.

Mr Tidy · Post by **Mr Tidy** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:33 pm

john-e89 · Post by **john-e89** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:58 pm

sars wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:06 pm
Scubaregs wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:20 pm
Chris_D wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:11 pm I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.
The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work Scubaregs,

Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....

buzyg · Post by **buzyg** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:41 pm

Chris_D wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:11 pm I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

On form tonight Lar.

Chris_D · Post by **Chris_D** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:45 pm

john-e89 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:58 pm
sars wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:06 pm
Scubaregs wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:20 pm

Trust me, the feeling is mutual.
The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work Scubaregs,
Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....

Oh jesus, the whole squad of old coffin-dodging bingo handbag swingers is here now.
I might have known you’d chip in at some stage John. Shouldn’t you be polishing your pushbike or falling off a ladder somewhere?

Chris_D · Post by **Chris_D** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:51 pm

buzyg wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:41 pm
Chris_D wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:11 pm I'd rather be living on an estate in Kirkby than within a country mile of some of you DailyMail-reading, handbag-swinging old farts.

On form tonight Lar.

Just stickin up for the ‘pool lar. Well, someone around here has to.

john-e89 · Post by **john-e89** » Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:52 pm

Chris_D wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 9:45 pm
john-e89 wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:58 pm
sars wrote: ↑Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:06 pm
The joke was funny, the retort above though is priceless, keep up the good work Scubaregs,
Ease up on him Scubes....into his fifties himself and all the nice girls go off with others for obvs reasons....he needs a shoulder to help with the 5tonne bag of spuds on his shoulders....
Oh jesus, the whole squad of old coffin-dodging bingo handbag swingers is here now.
I might have known you’d chip in at some stage John. Shouldn’t you be polishing your pushbike or falling off a ladder somewhere?

Chrissy you weren't nearly man enough for her, she's gone, let it go and move on old boy....you ain't got much time left.

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