What would you do if you ran out of toilet paper?

BeeEmm · Post by **BeeEmm** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:19 am

A Little Bit, Tongue in Cheek

What would you do if stocks of toilet paper ran out (lots of possible funny jokes here but let’s be a teensy, weensy bit serious)? Its worries like this that are causing anxiety with a lot of people. I have been thinking about some of the things I could do if ‘the worst came to the worst’.
When my children were babies (late sixties/seventies) we did not have disposable nappies. We used Terry Towels, squares of towelling first folded in a triangle then placed round the baby’s waist and crotch, held together with a large safety pin. (Stay with me here, I am not suggesting that everybody does that). The soiled towels would be cleaned and reused. You always had a pile of clean nappies in the cupboard. It gave me the idea, that if you cut up old towels or microfibre cloths you could use these to wipe your arse, just as Women use flannels to clean their Vag. They can then be washed and reused. Who needs toilet paper to clog the sewers? Someone compared the present situation with World War 2, a bit extreme, but the then Government put out a message of MEND AND MAKE DO, which recently made a comeback as a picture to hang on the wall. If you want to spend money, then small squares of Terry cloths are still sold.
It is extremely unlikely that we will run out of stocks, but some people must be running quite low and cannot get any, but if you can have a plan B then things don’t look so bad and it is all about feeling better about the future.

Now, I am standing well back, of you go!

greg81 · Post by **greg81** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:36 am

I certainly won't be doing tongue-in-cheek

BeeEmm · Post by **BeeEmm** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:46 am

I

greg81 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:36 am I certainly won't be doing tongue-in-cheek

I didn't expect the first reply to get that.

john-e89 · Post by **john-e89** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:53 am

greg81 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:36 am I certainly won't be doing tongue-in-cheek

Stand in the shower if you have one I guess....If not, squat over a hose pipe.....

Beatman · Post by **Beatman** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:16 am

Living in Bath, we could always do like the Romans did. Sponge on a Stick

buzyg · Post by **buzyg** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:20 am

greg81 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 10:36 am I certainly won't be doing tongue-in-cheek

I have a bad taste in my mouth about this one.

Jamie25 · Post by **Jamie25** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:20 am

Could do what most of the people on the planet do and just use a little water and your hand. At least we're lucky enough to be able to thoroughly wash our hands with soap and (drinking) water afterwards!

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:33 am

Nip down to yur local office supplies shop and get a pile of tracing paper and cut it into strips, remember the waxy paper at primary school

. On a serious note people are using kitchen towel which is great way to block the bog up. Or just use newspaper strips and bag it and bin it. I think some countries you're not permitted to flush toilet paper anyways so its bagged and binned.

Tim.

mmm-five · Post by **mmm-five** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 12:32 pm

That's what the three shells* are for

* Demolition Man reference for those not in the know

obewan · Post by **obewan** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 12:56 pm

Beatman wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:16 am Living in Bath, we could always do like the Romans did. Sponge on a Stick

Allegedly that's where the phrase 'to get the wrong end of the stick' comes from.

I mentioned the lack of loo rolls (shortly to be booze no doubt) to my elderly mum. She just shrugged and said that during the war they had squares of old newspapers threaded on a string, hanging off a nail in the outside loo!

BeeEmm · Post by **BeeEmm** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 1:02 pm

obewan wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 12:56 pm I mentioned the lack of loo rolls (shortly to be booze no doubt) to my elderly mum. She just shrugged and said that during the war they had squares of old newspapers threaded on a string, hanging off a nail in the outside loo!

In the sixties, so did we. I am sure that some people would be delighted to use Boris's face to wipe their arse. Newspaper clogs the sewage pipes though.

mr.tourette · Post by **mr.tourette** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 1:17 pm

Beatman wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:16 am Living in Bath, we could always do like the Romans did. Sponge on a Stick

As a reader of Roman novels my first thought was "arse sponge" which also handily doubles up as good insult

enuff_zed · Post by **enuff_zed** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 3:22 pm

Beatman wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:16 am Living in Bath, we could always do like the Romans did. Sponge on a Stick

Ha ha! Yes we discussed that at work. I believe they also dipped the sponge in vinegar?
Just remember not to stick it back in the onions!!!

scootr · Post by **scootr** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 3:41 pm

Lovely discussion

enuff_zed · Post by **enuff_zed** » Sat Mar 21, 2020 3:54 pm

scootr wrote: ↑Sat Mar 21, 2020 3:41 pm Lovely discussion

This is important stuff!
We're not just talking s**t you know!

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