Its an awful time and sorry for your loss. I lost my old man, before he got to being an old man at the age of 44 years of age. I was only 21 and the 6 weeks we had from diagnosis to him parting was never long enough to absorb the enormity of him not being with us any more. Even to this day , 28 years later , I still struggle at times to having to accept the 'head ' of the family , as his passing was far too young. Getting passed 44 years old for me was a tough time also, in a life way. But you don't accept , you move on in a way and try to refocus on the times you had with him. Recently my sister put some photos up on facebook and my wife showed me them and they my sis and me just text each other memories and making us both laugh out, but we couldnt talk on the phone as too awkward to keep it together.
There was plenty of wishes , of seeing his children getting married and also grand children , which he would have been a fab grandad, but wasnt meant to be in life. I guess it then just pushes you further into extra hugs with your own family and realisation on how important your family and friends are.
Mum is fit and well and now in here 70's . She isnt local but local to my sister , but we do speak every week. Life does go on and you have to heal the wounds as well as you can , to focus more on future life , however impossible it currently may be.
Stay strong
