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One for the Scots!
- ronk
- Lifer
- Posts: 14222
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:50 am
- Location: Durham
One for the Scots!
The average Englishman, in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the train station he boards a train, the forerunner of which was a steam engine, invented by James Watt of
Greenock, Scotland.
He then pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask, the latter invented by James Dewar, a Scotsman
from Kincardine-on-Forth.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of
Dumfries, Scotland.
He watches the news on his television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland,
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible only to find that
the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorised its translation.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.
He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of
Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escapes death, he might then find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, which was
discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland.
Or under anaesthetic, which was discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by
William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the train station he boards a train, the forerunner of which was a steam engine, invented by James Watt of
Greenock, Scotland.
He then pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask, the latter invented by James Dewar, a Scotsman
from Kincardine-on-Forth.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by James Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, blacksmith of
Dumfries, Scotland.
He watches the news on his television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland,
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible only to find that
the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorised its translation.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.
He could take to drink, but the Scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of
Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escapes death, he might then find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, which was
discovered by Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland.
Or under anaesthetic, which was discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, he would find no comfort in learning he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by
William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
You don't stop playing when you get old - You get old when you stop playing!
So I bought a 35is with all the toys to play with.
So I bought a 35is with all the toys to play with.
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- Member
- Posts: 815
- Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:42 pm
One for the Scots!
And the Scots can speak English, spend the pound and have an English Queen all the while still wishing and hoping for independence!
Z4MC
- Nictrix
- Lifer
- Posts: 5451
- Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2014 9:59 pm
- Location: Paisley
One for the Scots!
There used to be a poem with most of that in it and ended with the line "Whas like us, and their aw deid"
E89 2014 35i M Sport Black with Black leather
- Nictrix
- Lifer
- Posts: 5451
- Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2014 9:59 pm
- Location: Paisley
- Zedona
- Member
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2015 5:11 pm
- Location: Meopham Kent / St Sauvant France
One for the Scots!
At least some of us know where the apostrophe goes.
E85 3.0Si Auto with paddles Black Sapphire Metallic Black Leather M Sport Pack Stubby
- ronk
- Lifer
- Posts: 14222
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:50 am
- Location: Durham
One for the Scots!
I didn’t intend it as a bash the English or bash the Scot.
You don't stop playing when you get old - You get old when you stop playing!
So I bought a 35is with all the toys to play with.
So I bought a 35is with all the toys to play with.
-
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2216
- Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:30 pm
One for the Scots!
Speaking of Scotland..........
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Porsche 987 Boxster 3.4S
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Corvette C6 a moment of insanity
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- jock156
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2412
- Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:54 pm
- Location: NORWICH
One for the Scots!
Yes but us Scots have oil & Whisky! You have call centres!
-
- Member
- Posts: 815
- Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:42 pm
- GBZ4
- Member
- Posts: 863
- Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:45 pm
- Location: Rhoose Point
One for the Scots!
Indeed, I bet our call centres out last your oil. Whisky, mmmmm, difficult!!!
2016 E89 18i Roadster - gone and forgotten
- WiseOwl
- Member
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 11:22 am
One for the Scots!
The poem is a traditional Scottish toast and was called;
"Here's tae us. Wha's like us? Damn few, and they're a'deid"
"Here's tae us. Wha's like us? Damn few, and they're a'deid"
2004 E85 2.5i 189 bhp <-- Soon to be for sale!!
2006 E85 3.0si 265 bhp
2006 E85 3.0si 265 bhp
- Grumpyowl
- Lifer
- Posts: 3438
- Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:00 pm
- Location: North East Derbyshire
One for the Scots!
Some great achievements there, it's a pity they're garbage at football.
But it's great to know that as a nation Scotland will be supporting England at the World Cup and will rejoice with the rest of this island when they return victorious.
But it's great to know that as a nation Scotland will be supporting England at the World Cup and will rejoice with the rest of this island when they return victorious.
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- Member
- Posts: 636
- Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2016 4:34 pm
- Location: West Devon
One for the Scots!
Oh you guys are stealing most of the call centres as well these days
2009 Sapphire Black 23i
- buzyg
- Legend
- Posts: 26530
- Joined: Fri May 20, 2011 6:11 pm
- Location: Cornwall
One for the Scots!
Not seen that one before, almost spat my tea out.
PS.. Please don"t tell me a Scottish person was the first to import tea.
- Mr Tidy
- Legend
- Posts: 23830
- Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:18 pm
- Location: North West Surrey
One for the Scots!
Most of the call-centres I have the misfortune to speak to don't seem to be in England or Scotland (or even Europe).
I like both countries, but then my Mum was born in Kent and my Dad in Ross and Cromarty so I guess that is OK.
Coupes because stunning!
Current - Silver Grey MC, Imola Red heated Nappa & carbon trim. Aeros, H & R Coil-overs, 224s, OE Strut brace, Nav, cup-holders, DSP Hi-Fi, pdc, cruise, MFSW, no CDV! E90 330i daily
Gone - Montego Blue
Gone - Ruby Black
Current - Silver Grey MC, Imola Red heated Nappa & carbon trim. Aeros, H & R Coil-overs, 224s, OE Strut brace, Nav, cup-holders, DSP Hi-Fi, pdc, cruise, MFSW, no CDV! E90 330i daily
Gone - Montego Blue
Gone - Ruby Black