Not joined yet? Register for free and enjoy features such as alerts, private messaging and viewing latest posts and topics.
Leaving the forum.
-
- Lifer
- Posts: 11051
- Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2015 10:27 pm
Leaving the forum.
Hey,
Recent comments on a sales thread, which I never normally do, have given me the push to call it a day, whilst not rude or offensive I’ve gone further than is acceptable to me. These comments have coincided with a few picky moments which I should not get involved with.
Disclosing personal stuff on a public forum is a choice we make, lots would say not to do it but I can’t leave with a bitter taste in my mouth. For the last proabably 10 yrs or so I’ve been fighting depression, not feeling sorry for myself, proper depression, a chemical imbalance, an illness. I’ve fought it in the usual way, pick yourself up lad and get on with it, but it doesn’t work, last years 8 months of surgery for bits and pieces have worked but the heart op this time last year that went wrong has tipped the scales to an unacceptable level, I’ve got so much worse this year, leading to moments of desperation. Thoughts of a pipe in the car window on the moors we’re getting more and more tempting. Thankfully for my sons sake I’ve realised I can’t carry on and started medication 6 months ago which initially worked very well but the side effects were too awful to carry on with those particular drugs. 5 different lots now and we’re still trying to find the right ones, hopefully we’re getting close. The difference they make is immense. Dramatic? Well, If you haven’t had any experience of real depression you’ll probably be giving me the w****r sign reading this, fair shout. Anybody remember Gary Speed? Top footballer then Leeds Utd manager, loved by the fans, a very fair player on the pitch, oodles of money in the bank, lovely family, hung himself in his grarage. I can relate how he felt, I’m not at his level but it’s creeping up. It’s really not something you can control without drugs.
I don’t have never felt sorry for myself, I don’t wallow in self pity, my health issues are very mild compared to lots of others, but you simply cannot control this. I don’t want sympathy replies, I just want to try to explain why sometimes I’m an arse. I’ll help anybody, if you’re stuck in the middle of the night in a broken car I’ll come and pick you up, it’s just this damned thing rears it’s head and takes over at times despite trying to leave things alone. So until I can get straight and be a nice member I’m out, my skin is too thin to be embroiled in arguments. Why not just not post again without this, well as I said, there’s a bitter taste in my mouth and I feel the need to explain myself.
Have a great Xmas, and hopefully I’ll get sorted and catch up at some point.
Recent comments on a sales thread, which I never normally do, have given me the push to call it a day, whilst not rude or offensive I’ve gone further than is acceptable to me. These comments have coincided with a few picky moments which I should not get involved with.
Disclosing personal stuff on a public forum is a choice we make, lots would say not to do it but I can’t leave with a bitter taste in my mouth. For the last proabably 10 yrs or so I’ve been fighting depression, not feeling sorry for myself, proper depression, a chemical imbalance, an illness. I’ve fought it in the usual way, pick yourself up lad and get on with it, but it doesn’t work, last years 8 months of surgery for bits and pieces have worked but the heart op this time last year that went wrong has tipped the scales to an unacceptable level, I’ve got so much worse this year, leading to moments of desperation. Thoughts of a pipe in the car window on the moors we’re getting more and more tempting. Thankfully for my sons sake I’ve realised I can’t carry on and started medication 6 months ago which initially worked very well but the side effects were too awful to carry on with those particular drugs. 5 different lots now and we’re still trying to find the right ones, hopefully we’re getting close. The difference they make is immense. Dramatic? Well, If you haven’t had any experience of real depression you’ll probably be giving me the w****r sign reading this, fair shout. Anybody remember Gary Speed? Top footballer then Leeds Utd manager, loved by the fans, a very fair player on the pitch, oodles of money in the bank, lovely family, hung himself in his grarage. I can relate how he felt, I’m not at his level but it’s creeping up. It’s really not something you can control without drugs.
I don’t have never felt sorry for myself, I don’t wallow in self pity, my health issues are very mild compared to lots of others, but you simply cannot control this. I don’t want sympathy replies, I just want to try to explain why sometimes I’m an arse. I’ll help anybody, if you’re stuck in the middle of the night in a broken car I’ll come and pick you up, it’s just this damned thing rears it’s head and takes over at times despite trying to leave things alone. So until I can get straight and be a nice member I’m out, my skin is too thin to be embroiled in arguments. Why not just not post again without this, well as I said, there’s a bitter taste in my mouth and I feel the need to explain myself.
Have a great Xmas, and hopefully I’ll get sorted and catch up at some point.
M roady...OEM CSL’s, strut brace, Remus back boxes, ZHP
MR2 MK 2
E89 35i project car...mapped 365bhp, M4 stoppers & wheels, KWV3’s, H&R front ARB, M3 front arms, strut brace Eisenmann cat back race exhaust, VRSF downpipes inbound
E89 35is
G29
MR2 MK 2
E89 35i project car...mapped 365bhp, M4 stoppers & wheels, KWV3’s, H&R front ARB, M3 front arms, strut brace Eisenmann cat back race exhaust, VRSF downpipes inbound
E89 35is
G29
- Marlon
- Lifer
- Posts: 10899
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:13 am
- Location: Lancs.
- Contact:
Leaving the forum.
I'm sure we all respect your decision and wish you well John, hope to see you back here when you are ready. You will be missed - take care fella
Gone: 3.0si 2008 E85
911 997 Carrera S
- maxman
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2821
- Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:34 pm
- Location: Wrexham
- Smartbear
- Lifer
- Posts: 13685
- Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:54 pm
- Location: a barn in Somerset
Leaving the forum.
Hope you get things under control John
Rob
Rob
e89 Sdrive 20i, plenty of mumbo & good economy-the thinking bears z4
e89 Sdrive 30i, this ones busted, pass me another...
e85 3.0si sold
- Darren Slone
- Lifer
- Posts: 8105
- Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:27 pm
- Location: Nottinghamshire
Leaving the forum.
Hey John, liked you from the first time I met you, I know a little about depression, I’m only down the road and will be in touch for a cuppa and chat, I’ll bring the biscuits if there’s anything I can help with don’t be too proud, catch you soon my friend
Current Porsche Cayman S 987.1
Now sold - Imola Z4MC
Now sold - Silver Grey Z4MC
OEM CSL’s, Supersprint, Gruppe M, Eibachs, Carbon Roof, carbon rear spoiler,,
Now sold - My other Z
‘71 Datsun 240Z imported from West Coast USA
- jabber
- Lifer
- Posts: 3138
- Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:23 am
- Location: Hampshire
Leaving the forum.
I have struggled with depression for over 6 years now so I know where you are coming from, I have recently found medication that works for me, hopefully you will find one that helps you. Never forget you are not alone however dark things look. Best of wishes for the future
Z less again
14 E89 Z4 2.0 msport grey gone now
10 E89 Z4 3.0 Black auto now. Very sadly gone
Gone 04 E85 z4 3.0 Maldives blue smg
14 E89 Z4 2.0 msport grey gone now
10 E89 Z4 3.0 Black auto now. Very sadly gone
Gone 04 E85 z4 3.0 Maldives blue smg
- DPG
- Lifer
- Posts: 4204
- Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:41 pm
- Location: West Yorks
Leaving the forum.
All the best John, keep your chin up.
- Machine monkey
- Lifer
- Posts: 11310
- Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 12:49 pm
- Location: In the shire Oxfordshire
Leaving the forum.
Sorry your leaving Jon. I have always enjoyed your posts! Not the ones about your bad health! I am not that much of d1ck. I wish you well with all your troubles and hope things improve quickly for you.
- sp3ctre
- Site Admin
- Posts: 7492
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:29 pm
- Contact:
Leaving the forum.
All the best John, you are welcome back any time.
If you are looking for low cost UK insurance, visit our official Z4-forum insurance scheme
- mr wilks
- Legend
- Posts: 21897
- Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:02 pm
- Location: Lancashire
Leaving the forum.
Take the time out John & come back when you feel ready , no experience to share Re the depression but i know how sometimes forum spats can leave you wondering why you bother logging on if you accept that certain individuals can easily reach heights of w4nkerness others wouldn't dream of then you are partway to cracking it
Take care & if the abstention is lengthy keep in touch
Take care & if the abstention is lengthy keep in touch
3 ZMRs
3 E89s
5 Si coupes
5 Si roadsters
997 C4
TTRS
F82 M4
MK7 Golf Gti
current Bmw 6 Gran Turismo
3 E89s
5 Si coupes
5 Si roadsters
997 C4
TTRS
F82 M4
MK7 Golf Gti
current Bmw 6 Gran Turismo
-
- Lifer
- Posts: 9537
- Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:09 am
- Location: South west Buckinghamshire
Leaving the forum.
Oh thanks mate, now who's going to have my back when I go on about MR2's and get attacked by Number 5
Hope you sort your head mate and are back soon...missing you already
Hope you sort your head mate and are back soon...missing you already
BMW Z4 30i 2003 auto 107's Whippy Toledo Blue
Beige M sport seats, wood dash
Toyota MR2 NA 1995
Triumph GT6 1972 (project)
Land Rover Discovery 1994 TDI (Tow car)
Mini 1000 1981
Beige M sport seats, wood dash
Toyota MR2 NA 1995
Triumph GT6 1972 (project)
Land Rover Discovery 1994 TDI (Tow car)
Mini 1000 1981
- ronk
- Lifer
- Posts: 14221
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:50 am
- Location: Durham
Leaving the forum.
pm sent!
You don't stop playing when you get old - You get old when you stop playing!
So I bought a 35is with all the toys to play with.
So I bought a 35is with all the toys to play with.
-
- Lifer
- Posts: 9537
- Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:09 am
- Location: South west Buckinghamshire
Leaving the forum.
BMW Z4 30i 2003 auto 107's Whippy Toledo Blue
Beige M sport seats, wood dash
Toyota MR2 NA 1995
Triumph GT6 1972 (project)
Land Rover Discovery 1994 TDI (Tow car)
Mini 1000 1981
Beige M sport seats, wood dash
Toyota MR2 NA 1995
Triumph GT6 1972 (project)
Land Rover Discovery 1994 TDI (Tow car)
Mini 1000 1981
- Pastry
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2288
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 5:01 pm
- Location: South East
Leaving the forum.
You take care John, you’re a top fella,and will certainly be missed on here
I’ve depression in my family so I know how dark things can get but keep working at it matey and don’t let the ba$tards grind you down!
I’ve depression in my family so I know how dark things can get but keep working at it matey and don’t let the ba$tards grind you down!
991 Carrera 2S
Now gone:
2008 Z4MR Midnight Blue Metallic
2006 Z4 3.0si sport Ruby Black
2006 Z4 3.0si sport Titanium Silver
2010 Z4 23i Msport and a 3.0i
Now gone:
2008 Z4MR Midnight Blue Metallic
2006 Z4 3.0si sport Ruby Black
2006 Z4 3.0si sport Titanium Silver
2010 Z4 23i Msport and a 3.0i
- Taz
- Lifer
- Posts: 19501
- Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:56 pm
- Location: Saddleworth
Leaving the forum.
John, I know several people from this forum and I consider you to be a 'top bloke'
Nobody will truly understand what you are going through but I'm sure we all wish you well
Take time for yourself and I'm sure we'll see you on another meet some time
Man hugs and even a x from me
Nobody will truly understand what you are going through but I'm sure we all wish you well
Take time for yourself and I'm sure we'll see you on another meet some time
Man hugs and even a x from me