Then, wait for it------------- SLAP some seagull that had obviously just recovered from around a month long bout of chronic constipation unloaded from bombing altitude with the main load landing square on my iDrive 'knob'. It consisted of a white creamy soup combined with a sickly green/brown porridge kind of texture, approx one cupful in my estimation.
The impact spread it around the entire interior of the car to the top of the windscreen, all over my left side (face included).
What did I do I hear you ask??!! Well, to be honest, I laughed out loud, but only till the smell hit me. It was like an Elephant seal burping in your face, jesus what a stink.
So still stuck in traffic and hot sun I sit there whilst the organic superglue of seagull poop began to quickly solidify around and on me.
20 mins later I was home, the poop was literally dried rock hard (anyone out there with a boat will tell you how hard seagull poop dries) and it took me nearly three hours to clean and deodorise the car with permanent staining on the passenger seat red leather.
Still, someone told me that it is supposed to be lucky............ Bloody optomists, hang em all......
