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Need a chuckle? Read this......
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- Senior Member
- Posts: 2552
- Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 3:40 pm
- Location: Plymouth
Need a chuckle? Read this......
So, sat in the Zee in the traffic close to Plymouth city centre, roof off, sun shining, baseball cap on (shame on me, no Englishman should EVER be seen in such apparell) with a smile on my face.
Then, wait for it------------- SLAP some seagull that had obviously just recovered from around a month long bout of chronic constipation unloaded from bombing altitude with the main load landing square on my iDrive 'knob'. It consisted of a white creamy soup combined with a sickly green/brown porridge kind of texture, approx one cupful in my estimation.
The impact spread it around the entire interior of the car to the top of the windscreen, all over my left side (face included).
What did I do I hear you ask??!! Well, to be honest, I laughed out loud, but only till the smell hit me. It was like an Elephant seal burping in your face, jesus what a stink.
So still stuck in traffic and hot sun I sit there whilst the organic superglue of seagull poop began to quickly solidify around and on me.
20 mins later I was home, the poop was literally dried rock hard (anyone out there with a boat will tell you how hard seagull poop dries) and it took me nearly three hours to clean and deodorise the car with permanent staining on the passenger seat red leather.
Still, someone told me that it is supposed to be lucky............ Bloody optomists, hang em all......
Then, wait for it------------- SLAP some seagull that had obviously just recovered from around a month long bout of chronic constipation unloaded from bombing altitude with the main load landing square on my iDrive 'knob'. It consisted of a white creamy soup combined with a sickly green/brown porridge kind of texture, approx one cupful in my estimation.
The impact spread it around the entire interior of the car to the top of the windscreen, all over my left side (face included).
What did I do I hear you ask??!! Well, to be honest, I laughed out loud, but only till the smell hit me. It was like an Elephant seal burping in your face, jesus what a stink.
So still stuck in traffic and hot sun I sit there whilst the organic superglue of seagull poop began to quickly solidify around and on me.
20 mins later I was home, the poop was literally dried rock hard (anyone out there with a boat will tell you how hard seagull poop dries) and it took me nearly three hours to clean and deodorise the car with permanent staining on the passenger seat red leather.
Still, someone told me that it is supposed to be lucky............ Bloody optomists, hang em all......
Mark
Plymouth
E89
35i
Carmine Red
Black leather
Plymouth
E89
35i
Carmine Red
Black leather
- Marlon
- Lifer
- Posts: 10899
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:13 am
- Location: Lancs.
- Contact:
Need a chuckle? Read this......
Gone: 3.0si 2008 E85
911 997 Carrera S
- kis
- Lifer
- Posts: 4546
- Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2016 2:33 pm
- Location: Surrey / West Sussex Boarder
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Not sure that title is really appropriate...
My E85 Z4 3.0i SMG
BMW Family History (past and present):
1 Series - E87
3 Series - E46 Coupe, E46 M3, E90 (x3)
4 Series - F36, F82 M4
5 Series - E34 (x2), E39
7 Series - E32
X5 - E53, E70
X6 - E71
BMW Family History (past and present):
1 Series - E87
3 Series - E46 Coupe, E46 M3, E90 (x3)
4 Series - F36, F82 M4
5 Series - E34 (x2), E39
7 Series - E32
X5 - E53, E70
X6 - E71
- PerryGunn
- Lifer
- Posts: 9785
- Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:16 pm
- Location: By the seaside...
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Yuk, living by the sea has its perils, #320 suffers from severe laridaphobia...
Alpina Roadster S #320
* Quaife ATB LSD * StrongStrut Braces * Turner RTAB Limiters * Gap-Tech RCH+ *
* Intravee & KCA-420i * Mini 0806 * Cheetah C550 * Stubby *
* Quaife ATB LSD * StrongStrut Braces * Turner RTAB Limiters * Gap-Tech RCH+ *
* Intravee & KCA-420i * Mini 0806 * Cheetah C550 * Stubby *
- enzed4
- Lifer
- Posts: 3033
- Joined: Fri May 16, 2014 9:23 am
- Location: New Zealand
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Sell the Zed - or burn it with fire, either one will do...
I was lucky enough to avoid a strafing run by one of the feathered bastards - didn't even know how close it was until I got out of the car and found excrement splattered along the bonnet, front guard, windscreen and even the top of the roll hoop covers. Must have missed me by millimetres...
I was lucky enough to avoid a strafing run by one of the feathered bastards - didn't even know how close it was until I got out of the car and found excrement splattered along the bonnet, front guard, windscreen and even the top of the roll hoop covers. Must have missed me by millimetres...
Gone: 2010 35i DCT
Gone: 2008 2.5Si Sport
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- Member
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Fri May 20, 2011 2:17 pm
- Location: Reading
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Be honest, you were out dogging weren't you ??? and this way wifey has your 'alibi' on the internet, because once posted on the internet, its true isn't it ???
Dibs
PS - you have my sympathies though.
Dibs
PS - you have my sympathies though.
Cars: E89 Z4 3.0i M Sport, VW Scirocco 2.0 GT TFSI
Bikes: Ducati 996, Ducati 999R Fila, Ducati Multistrada, Ducati Panigale 1199S
Pets: Charlie and Luigi the cats.
Wife: Just the one.
Instagram: Dibblecorse
Bikes: Ducati 996, Ducati 999R Fila, Ducati Multistrada, Ducati Panigale 1199S
Pets: Charlie and Luigi the cats.
Wife: Just the one.
Instagram: Dibblecorse
- RustyZ4
- Lifer
- Posts: 3622
- Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:23 pm
- Location: Maidstone, Kent
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It is lucky,,,, lucky for someone else it wasn't them
Z4 Mineral Grey, 28i MSport Auto, lots of goodies
Z4 E85 3.0, gone but now with son
Growing Old is Mandatory But Growing Up is Optional
Z4 E85 3.0, gone but now with son
Growing Old is Mandatory But Growing Up is Optional
- Phoenixboy
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2117
- Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:07 pm
- Location: english riviera
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oh the joys of living in the westcountry.mcbutler wrote: ↑Wed May 16, 2018 8:33 am So, sat in the Zee in the traffic close to Plymouth city centre, roof off, sun shining, baseball cap on (shame on me, no Englishman should EVER be seen in such apparell) with a smile on my face.
Then, wait for it------------- SLAP some seagull that had obviously just recovered from around a month long bout of chronic constipation unloaded from bombing altitude with the main load landing square on my iDrive 'knob'. It consisted of a white creamy soup combined with a sickly green/brown porridge kind of texture, approx one cupful in my estimation.
The impact spread it around the entire interior of the car to the top of the windscreen, all over my left side (face included).
What did I do I hear you ask??!! Well, to be honest, I laughed out loud, but only till the smell hit me. It was like an Elephant seal burping in your face, jesus what a stink.
So still stuck in traffic and hot sun I sit there whilst the organic superglue of seagull poop began to quickly solidify around and on me.
20 mins later I was home, the poop was literally dried rock hard (anyone out there with a boat will tell you how hard seagull poop dries) and it took me nearly three hours to clean and deodorise the car with permanent staining on the passenger seat red leather.
Still, someone told me that it is supposed to be lucky............ Bloody optomists, hang em all......
I think I would have thrown a wobbly and pursued the seagull with extreme anger.
E89 s drive 30i manual/gone
space grey
Carbon interior trim
19" Veeman FS 25`s
cruise control
m sport seats
stubby
led halo bulbs
z4 forum sticker, for added power.
OEM wind deflector
Gone, E85 Ruby Black.
space grey
Carbon interior trim
19" Veeman FS 25`s
cruise control
m sport seats
stubby
led halo bulbs
z4 forum sticker, for added power.
OEM wind deflector
Gone, E85 Ruby Black.
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- Lifer
- Posts: 9539
- Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:09 am
- Location: South west Buckinghamshire
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Made me laugh
I wonder what others around you thought
I often wonder about this issue when I have the roof down, glad it wasn't me
I wonder what others around you thought
I often wonder about this issue when I have the roof down, glad it wasn't me
BMW Z4 30i 2003 auto 107's Whippy Toledo Blue
Beige M sport seats, wood dash
Toyota MR2 NA 1995
Triumph GT6 1972 (project)
Land Rover Discovery 1994 TDI (Tow car)
Mini 1000 1981
Beige M sport seats, wood dash
Toyota MR2 NA 1995
Triumph GT6 1972 (project)
Land Rover Discovery 1994 TDI (Tow car)
Mini 1000 1981
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- Member
- Posts: 567
- Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:11 am
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Oh dear. Open top motoring does have its risks, particularly in coastal locations.
I bring my Zed to work occasionally, which necessitates parking in an open public car park in the seaside town where my office is located. As the car is new to me it has only been a couple of times so far, but I am well aware of the risks of parking where I do. This was highlighted to me only yesterday when another car, parked not too far away from mine, seemed to have been the target of a precision and concentrated bombing from what must have been a whole flock of shite-hawks, or perhaps a single bird with a particularly bad case of birdy diarrhoea. It was completely plastered in the stuff. Getting it off of paintwork is bad enough, but the prospect of removing gallons of guano from the hood fabric of my precious Zed is not one I relish!
I bring my Zed to work occasionally, which necessitates parking in an open public car park in the seaside town where my office is located. As the car is new to me it has only been a couple of times so far, but I am well aware of the risks of parking where I do. This was highlighted to me only yesterday when another car, parked not too far away from mine, seemed to have been the target of a precision and concentrated bombing from what must have been a whole flock of shite-hawks, or perhaps a single bird with a particularly bad case of birdy diarrhoea. It was completely plastered in the stuff. Getting it off of paintwork is bad enough, but the prospect of removing gallons of guano from the hood fabric of my precious Zed is not one I relish!
- MACK
- Lifer
- Posts: 3600
- Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2015 11:38 am
- Location: Manchester
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Whow!!!........... and I thought I was unlucky when I had to clean bird poo of my freshly waxed wing yesterday. Hopefully someone on here can suggest something that will help get rid of the staining on the seat. I take it you've tried the usual leather cleaners etc?
Silver 05 3.0i SE
Mods inc - F/L Xenons Clear Ind Rear Lights M Sport Seats & Wheel Eibach/B4 3.64 DIFF (SOLD)
White E89 20i M Sport
Mods inc- B12 kit, M3 Arms, 18" Zito 935's with PS4's, Decat & Remap, Switchable Exhaust Flap (SOLD)
Mods inc - F/L Xenons Clear Ind Rear Lights M Sport Seats & Wheel Eibach/B4 3.64 DIFF (SOLD)
White E89 20i M Sport
Mods inc- B12 kit, M3 Arms, 18" Zito 935's with PS4's, Decat & Remap, Switchable Exhaust Flap (SOLD)
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- Lifer
- Posts: 11079
- Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2015 10:27 pm
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No wonder it smells is it, they really are flying garbage trucks.....
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M roady...OEM CSL’s, strut brace, Remus back boxes, ZHP
MR2 MK 2
E89 35i project car...mapped 365bhp, M4 stoppers & wheels, KWV3’s, H&R front ARB, M3 front arms, strut brace Eisenmann cat back race exhaust, VRSF downpipes inbound
E89 35is
G29
MR2 MK 2
E89 35i project car...mapped 365bhp, M4 stoppers & wheels, KWV3’s, H&R front ARB, M3 front arms, strut brace Eisenmann cat back race exhaust, VRSF downpipes inbound
E89 35is
G29
- PerryGunn
- Lifer
- Posts: 9785
- Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:16 pm
- Location: By the seaside...
Need a chuckle? Read this......
Could always be worse....
Alpina Roadster S #320
* Quaife ATB LSD * StrongStrut Braces * Turner RTAB Limiters * Gap-Tech RCH+ *
* Intravee & KCA-420i * Mini 0806 * Cheetah C550 * Stubby *
* Quaife ATB LSD * StrongStrut Braces * Turner RTAB Limiters * Gap-Tech RCH+ *
* Intravee & KCA-420i * Mini 0806 * Cheetah C550 * Stubby *
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- Senior Member
- Posts: 2552
- Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 3:40 pm
- Location: Plymouth
Need a chuckle? Read this......
Yep they are, in the Navy we called them shite hawks, I remember them following us at sea in the early 80's before sewage treatment onboard was made compulsory. Every now and then someone flushed and the poop would float away, only to have some filthy shite hawk swoop down and swallow it in one like a chocolate eclair.
Mark
Plymouth
E89
35i
Carmine Red
Black leather
Plymouth
E89
35i
Carmine Red
Black leather
-
- Senior Member
- Posts: 2552
- Joined: Fri May 26, 2017 3:40 pm
- Location: Plymouth
Need a chuckle? Read this......
Its a min, looks better covered in crap than without it....
Mark
Plymouth
E89
35i
Carmine Red
Black leather
Plymouth
E89
35i
Carmine Red
Black leather