Offensive posts

[enuff_zed]

When I left the forces, having known only that from the age of 17, I discovered that the military sense of humour was just not understood by 'civvies' being based mainly on sarcasm and taking the p$ss out of others before they did so unto you.
It did cause a few misunderstandings at first! (Massive understatement! )
However, I learnt to moderate my humour, reduce the p$ss taking and generally think for a second before I fired from the hip.
Over time I got better at judging my audience and hopefully now I get away with it most of the time.

My point being that, in the main, the big hoo-haa's on this forum seem to stem from the initial commenter misjudging his audience and then, instead of being the bigger person and backing down with an apology, they react to the shirty reply and before you know it we're all at Defcon 1.
All it takes is a moment to stop, think and be humble, and hopefully now that lesson may have been learned?

[Stevo1987]

Tbh I don't agree with Pondy being banned. Ok he is ff'ing annoying and is a fen dweller but underneath it all... hmm...yeah...anyway. Have you sold the Missus car yet?

[Pondrew]

When I left the forces, having known only that from the age of 17, I discovered that the military sense of humour was just not understood by 'civvies' being based mainly on sarcasm and taking the p$ss out of others before they did so unto you.
It did cause a few misunderstandings at first! (Massive understatement! )
However, I learnt to moderate my humour, reduce the p$ss taking and generally think for a second before I fired from the hip.
Over time I got better at judging my audience and hopefully now I get away with it most of the time.

My point being that, in the main, the big hoo-haa's on this forum seem to stem from the initial commenter misjudging his audience and then, instead of being the bigger person and backing down with an apology, they react to the shirty reply and before you know it we're all at Defcon 1.
All it takes is a moment to stpo, think and be humble, and hopefully now that lesson may have been learned?

Similar but I spent 20 odd years working on building sites of one form or another. Two things I learned pretty quickly was not to take ANYTHING personally and not to be offended by ANYONE.

[ronk]

When I left the forces, having known only that from the age of 17, I discovered that the military sense of humour was just not understood by 'civvies' being based mainly on sarcasm and taking the p$ss out of others before they did so unto you.

I can understand this - and after a close family funeral where I was amongst the group of four of the last of “our “ generation ie the oldest and most likely to pop off, my cousin who was 15/16 when he joined the RAF sixty years ago, came to tell us he was taking odds as which one of us would not be having a beer at the next funeral Do!

My brother could not understand his black humour!

[sp3ctre]

Interesting feedback from all, I appreciate it… Here’s a little insight into my thinking…

I started this forum in 2007 and from the start I aimed to keep it as open as possible. I had been a member of several forums where the admin and mods ruled with an iron fist and a massive ban-hammer… I hated it.. it was like small man syndrome, treating grown adults like kids!

I know this may be controversial, but there seems to be a need nowadays for everywhere to be a safe space and everyone to walk on eggshells so as not to offend… personally moderating a forum on that basis is both tiresome and it sucks the life out of it.

That said, my approach has perhaps been a little too laid back and resulted in things going a bit too far.

What I want is people to be free to say what they want, joke around (within limits) and have fun while maintaining respect for each other.

We went several years without banning anyone, and I really hope that we can consider this a reboot and nobody will get banned again. I don’t want people to feel like I am over-moderating or turning this place into a creche like a lot of other forums.

Thanks again for the feedback guys!

[coldel]

There is obviously a world of difference between banter of people who know each other in an army unit vs strangers talking online, the same types of conversations are going to go south very quickly in the latter.

I was an admin and mod on 350z-uk and I dont think people realise the pains you go through to sort stuff out, and you never seem to please everyone. Trying to balance libertarianism vs authoritarianism. Most of the time if those getting involved just took a breath and stood in the other persons shoes for ten seconds the argument would quickly go away and no intervention needed. Is all the advice I would give.

Just for fun...

[Pondrew]

That said, my approach has perhaps been a little too laid back and resulted in things going a bit too far.

Nah. Works well as it is IMHO.

[MikeyH]

I've only been a member on here for a little while and to me it seems a friendly place with nice people helping other nice people with good advice and cheap parts. I mostly enjoy the banter and don't generally find it offensive although my sense of humour is quite dark sometimes. Only once have I asked someone to stop being awful and that was because he was becoming very offensive towards a female forum member about her car which then got out of hand. That really did become very vile and not suitable and completely out of place on here. As I have said before this is my happy place and may it stay this way. Thank you sp3ctre for all you do to provide such a decent forum for us all.

[ori]

So I was one of the people banned. I don’t disagree with my ban as I reacted to someone who has been a constant thorn with abusive posts including racist, homophonic and antisemitic posts. I shouldn’t have reacted and I apologise for that. I don’t agree that the main culprit got the same ban as the 2 of us who responded.

Just in my defence. I had messaged the moderator over a year ago about this person and the reply I got “I’m staying out of it”.
Said instigator has had fallouts with many users and has always been abusive and disgusting.

[enuff_zed]

So I was one of the people banned. I don’t disagree with my ban as I reacted to someone who has been a constant thorn with abusive posts including racist, homophonic and antisemitic posts. I shouldn’t have reacted and I apologise for that. I don’t agree that the main culprit got the same ban as the 2 of us who responded.

Just in my defence. I had messaged the moderator over a year ago about this person and the reply I got “I’m staying out of it”.
Said instigator has had fallouts with many users and has always been abusive and disgusting.

Lesson learned? Don’t bite. Set him as a Foe and disregard anything that slips through.
But can we all accept you’ve made your point and please don’t use this thread to perpetuate it.
Life is too short.

[smorris_12]

I've been using the internet for nigh on 30 years and long ago came to the conclusion that it's just not worth getting involved. Throw an idle spear if you're bored but otherwise shrug and get on with someone more important.

[IRD]

Interesting feedback from all, I appreciate it… Here’s a little insight into my thinking…

I started this forum in 2007 and from the start I aimed to keep it as open as possible. I had been a member of several forums where the admin and mods ruled with an iron fist and a massive ban-hammer… I hated it.. it was like small man syndrome, treating grown adults like kids!

I know this may be controversial, but there seems to be a need nowadays for everywhere to be a safe space and everyone to walk on eggshells so as not to offend… personally moderating a forum on that basis is both tiresome and it sucks the life out of it.

That said, my approach has perhaps been a little too laid back and resulted in things going a bit too far.

What I want is people to be free to say what they want, joke around (within limits) and have fun while maintaining respect for each other.

We went several years without banning anyone, and I really hope that we can consider this a reboot and nobody will get banned again. I don’t want people to feel like I am over-moderating or turning this place into a creche like a lot of other forums.

Thanks again for the feedback guys!

I think you are doing a really good job. Only my wife is perfect ( or so she keeps telling me). But I think you manage to achieve a pretty good balance.

[ori]

So I was one of the people banned. I don’t disagree with my ban as I reacted to someone who has been a constant thorn with abusive posts including racist, homophonic and antisemitic posts. I shouldn’t have reacted and I apologise for that. I don’t agree that the main culprit got the same ban as the 2 of us who responded.

Just in my defence. I had messaged the moderator over a year ago about this person and the reply I got “I’m staying out of it”.
Said instigator has had fallouts with many users and has always been abusive and disgusting.

Lesson learned? Don’t bite. Set him as a Foe and disregard anything that slips through.
But can we all accept you’ve made your point and please don’t use this thread to perpetuate it.
Life is too short.

See, I kinda agree with you, but I can only speak about the antisemitism as that is a personal thing. For years, the mantra of the Jewish people was if we ignore it then it will go away. Don’t fight it. How did that work out for us?
So now I have the view that I call it out and fight it out when I see it. Turns out that people don’t like it when we fight back.

If said person continues with his vile posts, I will point it out to a mod and if said mod says I’m not getting involved again the. I will.

[sars]

Set him as a Foe and disregard anything that slips through.
Life is too short.

and that's what I did, my first Foe, sage advice

[Scubaregs]

Set him as a Foe and disregard anything that slips through.
Life is too short.

and that's what I did, my first Foe, sage advice